A Typical Day in Moscow

Monday, September 16, 1996 -- Hi, you're American, don't 
you know!? I always write the diary as a matter of mere 
facts, but I hope it is not just that. Of course, the facts 
themselves are precious, and are preserved as history, but 
even as photos, you might almost just as well throw them 
out. Far more precious are the memories of heart, as you 
will know (in eternal spiritual world). We have to make 
those. 
     So, Fujiko-san is in Vilnius, but came back on the train 
this morning. I waited for her. That was a struggle for me, 
because I wanted with all my heart to go in to the office to 
participate in the morning meeting centered on Chris Le Bas. 
That is valuable to me. My mission gives me meaning and 
value, among other things. 
     I ventured to tentatively ask Mikiko Oda or Kunio Iwaoji 
to watch Mariya-chan until Mama came, but that was out of 
the question. Why? Don't I love Mariya-chan? Yes, of 
course I do. I love to come home to her, to see her off, to 
hold her, to sleep with her. But I am a man, and I have to be 
doing my mission, otherwise I am out of place. Men have 
almost always been like that. 
     So when Fujiko-san came, actually, I was at that moment 
talking to Mr. Iwaoji, National Messiah to Syria. He "held 
me" so I couldn't even acknowledge Fujiko-san's coming. 
That is unlike me. He was in a sense challenging me or 
testing me to "be like a man" or be "mature". Myself, I 
would run to the door and greet Fujiko-san and welcome 
her back, and stick by her, like her child. She would usually 
ignore me. So, for me, this was a strange situation. 
     It was a dark, gray, rainy, cold day. I went to pick up 
Mariya-chan. A sister from IOWC over the phone gave me 
the directions, but it was the wrong Metro station. I started 
walking down Ulitsa Parkovaya, but in the wrong direction. 
So, feeling a little frustrated, I backtracked. It was at least a 
kilometer walk. But, what's the fuss? I was going to meet 
my most precious daughter and little Messiah. 
     When I saw her, she was wearing a lavender parka like a 
little Eskimo, looking very Oriental, and I actually didn't 
recognize her at first! 
     I left an "o-miyage" for the sisters. I really hoped they 
would be happy. I bought them a nice box of chocolates. 
Together with heart, that is one of the nicest gifts. So why 
should they be so indifferent? Especially I wanted Suma 
Fukumoto to cheer up, because she looked so dark, gloomy. 
"Please, eat a piece of chocolate! Kayoko-san, please make 
sure Suma-san gets a piece of chocolate." But Suma-san 
refused to be loved or to be cheerful. Of course, she may be 
a spiritually very Abel person, only focused on 
witnessing.... Witnessing for what? Surely not to be happy 
in this world and the next....? 
     At dinner, Fujiko-san still hadn't come home, because 
she was at the Leaders Meeting. But Mr. Iwaoji was very 
angry at someone for detaining a woman at night in this 
Moscow for some protracted meeting, and he scolded, 
saying, "I'm going to tell Mrs. Kang about this. That leader 
is responsible for keeping her like that!" But I was 
nonchalant. I said, "For me, as the husband, to protest 
against that would be Cain-like. Somebody else has to say it. 
If you can say so, it is okay, but I can't." 
     At 10:45 pm I left the house for the Metro station. I 
waited... and waited... and waited... Each train was 7 
minutes apart. The cleaning ladies came out. I was thinking, 
"Did I miss her? Surely she wouldn't just go home and, 
seeing me not there, just relax and enjoy herself...? If she 
did indeed do that, what should I do? Should I get angry and 
say, 'You deceived me. I'm not going to meet you at the 
Metro again!' No, that wouldn't do. It would be better to just 
smile, and, to soothe my frustration, just eat a peanut butter 
jelly sandwich or two. So I continued to wonder for an hour 
and a half what happened, what good excuse she could 
have. She better apologize..." 
     Fujiko-san showed up at 11:45 with a sheepish face. 
Actually she had been arrested. Now, I knew a girl 
shouldn't go out late on the street like that. Whether it is 
robbers or the militia, what is the difference? They are both 
crooks. In fact, the police saw Akira-san, who was with 
Fujiko-san walking home, carrying a big bag, and they 
stopped them to question them. Fujiko-san didn't have her 
passport on her, which in Moscow is a deadly offense. 
They dragged her in to the militia cell, with three policemen. 
Fujiko-san had a backpack with 3 million rubles in it (about 
800 dollars) from the members' toil in fundraising. Surely 
the police would have taken that money -- they are like 
robbers, too -- so, wisely, Fujiko-san swiftly gave the bag 
away to Akira-san, who waited outside the station. They 
questioned Fujiko-san for 45 minutes, and finally let her go 
with just paying 75,000 rubles fine. But if they had seen that 
money... Also, in the police office were picture of naked 
ladies. They were very mean, Cain-type policemen. So, a 
girl should not be out on the street late at night in Moscow, 
and we had been worried about that, and it was right. 
     Fujiko-san came home, and it was so good to be back 
together and home safe again. The lost time counted for 
nothing. We were together again, and home. 
     Mariya-chan often waits up till all hours for her Mama to 
come home. She is quite a baby, and very spiritual too! She 
seems to know in advance if I am going to be gone, or when 
Mama is coming home, and what I need, and she gives that 
to me, as best she can, as a tender little 11 and a half 
months. What will this prodigy be like when she is 21 years 
old? 
     I never go to bed without eating, and now was no 
exception. I wanted to eat a late snack with Fujiko-san, but 
Fujiko-san wanted to pray first, and then... she went to bed, 
because she said she had felt nervous, and couldn't eat now. 
Me? For any reason, the solution is to have something to 
eat! Happy or sad! 
     For all my pains (ours), I had a nice dream. It truly made 
the day. 
     We had made a CD disk with songs we had put together. 
It was golden, with little shiny rings or rainbows, you 
know, the miraculous sheen of CD discs... Well, the 
contents of this CD disk were just as precious as the 
external appearance. So, I was going all around selling this 
CD disk, for fundraising. At first, I went to all the offices 
and homes, and the people were rather indifferent. But, 
toward the very end, it became a very sought-after item. 
People were crazy about it. They thought it was the best 
thing in the world. The secretaries would even give me 20 
dollars, because I had only one disk left, and said keep the 
disk. All the blessing was coming at the end. Finally I came 
to a place, went upstairs, and there was a room. A bunch of 
nifty little children were there, and they gathered around. I 
had something to share with them. And then, Grandma and 
Granddad appeared from a door behind. I looked into their 
eyes. Granddad was shining very brightly, like white, and 
Grandma looked very good too, and they were together. A 
voice whispered in my ear, "You know, he is not actually 
with us any more (on earth)." But I didn't care. They were 
together, and I was with them. I felt so happy.