Dear Brothers and Sisters,

As In Jin Nim's husband for almost 30 years, I write to you today to disclose my role in events that have brought such great heartache to God, True Parents, True Children, my family and all the brothers and sisters of our movement. It is my sincere hope that you will receive my letter with an open heart.

Some years ago, I experienced a personal crisis and lost my faith in God and True Parents. This led me to violate the standards of the Blessing and conduct a secular lifestyle that was unacceptable. I emotionally and physically abandoned In Jin Nim and my family, and they suffered terribly. Instead of reporting to True Parents and asking True Father for a new Blessing, as she probably should have, she gave me the room to recover and restore my faith. In September 2006, I successfully completed rehab and returned home to participate in raising our children together. In Jin Nim's patience and love allowed me the chance to renew my love and faith in God and True Parents.

Although I had recovered my faith, I had, nevertheless, damaged our Blessing. While I can't say our relationship was strong prior to the personal crisis I refer to above, my actions clearly hindered any chance we had at fixing our Blessing. In Jin Nim allowed me to stand as her husband so that I could continue to play a role in the lives of our children. However, she and I never resumed marital relations. This was a very lonely time for In Jin Nim, and looking back, now, I deeply regret not trying harder to restore a healthy Blessing relationship with her. We needed professional marriage counseling to heal our relationship with each other and with our children, yet we did nothing. Additionally, I should have sought out help from other True Family members. The reality is though, I felt so weakened by my own sins and so unworthy to be In Jin nim's husband that I convinced myself that the only course of action I had available to me was to not challenge her.

My mistakes in my Blessing created a condition for greater indemnity. As we dealt with our difficult Blessing, In Jin Nim was suddenly given the heavy responsibility of the American church. She and I were no longer private individuals and working on our Blessing seemed virtually impossible. In Jin Nim set out to fulfill her Father's expectations and to serve the members, especially the second generation, the best she could. After giving In Jin Nim this responsibility, True Father turned to me and said, "And you, Jin Sung, you will help In Jin from behind the scenes." In Jin Nim also asked me to help her, and I did my best to support her. She loved music and wanted to create a music ministry and worked closely with the band and with Ben Lorentzen when he joined the effort in August 2009.

During the next two years, there was evidence of a growing relationship between In Jin Nim and Ben, and yet, I failed to speak to her about it. At times I longed for someone on her core staff to intervene on my behalf or to counsel In Jin Nim or Ben about a proper course of action. The reality was, however, that no one around In Jin Nim, myself included, had the courage or strength of character to counsel her to go to True Parents. In an enabling way, some chose to support In Jin Nim by tearing me down and building up Ben in the process.

I found out about her pregnancy when I initiated a conversation with her in December 2011. I had just finished a 40-city tour giving my Testimony of True Children's Suffering Course that many of you received warmly. I had received a dream about her being pregnant, so I asked her if this was true. In Jin Nim told me that it was and began to cry. We talked about the incredible pain this would cause True Parents and all the members. I asked her if there was any hope for us to continue as a couple, and she said she and Ben had decided to move on withtheir lives together. She told me that she did not want to break True Father's heart and that she would resign after True Parents could reach a victorious Foundation Day. She asked me to help her, and I promised her that I would. At the time, I knew the consequences of this situation were so dreadful that I was afraid to take direct responsibility for its disclosure. Looking back now, I am so sorry to all the members for being complicit in the cover-up and not allowing True Father the opportunity to directly preside over this matter.

As we all know, our beloved and victorious True Father did not make it physically to Foundation Day and neither did the secret of the baby. It is almost impossible to imagine a more painful set of events than the news of In Jin Nim's new baby coming out just three days after True Father ascended to spirit world. When In Jin Nim and I informed Hyung Jin Nim and Kook Jin Nim on September 7, 2012 about Ben and the baby, they were completely shocked and dismayed. The next day, In Jin Nim, my sister and I informed True Mother. This was the most painful experience of my life. True Mother's hopes and confidence in In Jin Nim were shattered, and she wept uncontrollably. I repented to True Mother for all my failures and testified that it was my unworthiness that had led to this tragedy. True Mother asked me if I wanted to stay Blessed to In Jin Nim, and I asked True Mother to grant In Jin Nim what she wanted, which was to move forward without me. True Mother then asked In Jin Nim to resign immediately and go to Boston. She asked me to return to my parents. She wanted to protect her grandchildren and asked them to continue working at HSA.

Brothers and Sisters! Could you imagine a greater tragedy than this? I know you are suffering greatly. Please imagine True Mother's suffering right now. True Father has ascended and now two great leaders of the True Family, Hyun Jin Nim and In Jin Nim have broken the heart of our True Parents. How is this even possible? True Mother knows how this affects the members. She anguishes every day about the loss of faith this will cause for many. Even now, she has sent Hyung Jin Nim traveling across America to comfort the members, even as some of the members express resentment and dismay.

In retrospect, I should have acted differently. I should have upheld the purity of the Blessing with my life despite the difficulties we faced in our relationship. I should have fought harder to renew my Blessing with In Jin Nim after my mistakes. I should have reported to True Parents about the state of our Blessing at the time In Jin Nim was appointed to HSA. I should have spoken to In Jin Nim honestly when there was early evidence of a relationship. Maybe, I should have spoken to Ben early on and ask him what was going on or ask someone in the band to speak to him. I should have reported to True Parents about the pregnancy in December 2011. Today, however, I am only able to repent for all these failures. I am indeed unworthy and have failed to live up to my responsibilities. I sometimes wish I could simply disappear! Instead, all that I can do is hope for your compassion and say with all sincerity--I am deeply sorry, please forgive me.

I go on only with God and True Parents' merciful forgiveness. I go on with the hope that despite all the tragedies caused by my failures that God is somehow working. I have to believe--after all I have seen this church go through--that everything happens for a reason. I believe that "restoration through indemnity" is the process by which God allows archangel to invade us and cause a loss of faith precisely because the True Parents are the True Parents, and we exist as members of Their holy lineage. By repenting our sins and receiving God and True Parents' forgiveness, we thereby help True Parents subjugate archangel. I believe that True Parents paid huge indemnity throughout their lives, but none is more painful than when the archangel invades the True Children. I also sincerely believe, after spending so many years with the True Children, that they ultimately will all be victorious through their own repentance and re-unity with God and True Parents.

Brothers and Sisters. So many of you have expressed love and compassion to In Jin Nim, to me and to our children. I sincerely thank you for that. I have served and attended True Children for 40 years now. They are so sensitive and special in heart. It is such a privilege to personally know them. During difficult periods in their lives, I tried my best to attend them. True Father taught me to love the True Children with all my heart, not to judge them, but to use good judgement to guide them towards True Parents. I know that I have failed them over and over again, and yet, they continue to receive me with love. Unworthy as I am, I am grateful for the incredible journey I have traveled with them. As True Mother requested, I intend to return to my family and live a private life. Thank you brothers and sisters for all the love you have shown me. Please do not worry about me. True Father appeared to me at the moment of His ascension. He was shining bright, young and so handsome and He told me that He loves me. He also said, "Don't worry Jin Sung, everything will be all right." I will always be eternally grateful for the love I continue to receive from God, True Parents, True Children and my own children.

Please love True Mother and all the True Children. They need you just as True Father needed you. You were there for True Father. Now be there for True Mother and the True Children in their hour of greatest need. In the next few months, it will be determined by all of us whether we will see an era of confusion or an era of hope centered upon the holy leadership of our beloved True Mother and our beloved True Sons and True Daughters. Aju!

Thank you for having an open heart.

Jin Sung

September 30, 2012