Book Three - True Love
Chapter Three - Love and Marriage
Section 1. True Marriage Engenders Love of Universal Unity

Why do we marry? We marry in order to resemble God. God exists as a unified being encompassing the dual characteristics of masculinity and femininity. Man and woman represent the divided characteristics of God. They must become one and become like a seed, thereby returning to God's original position. (138-97, 1986.1.19)

We should sing about the supreme sacredness of marriage. Married life is the path along which a man and a woman can love each other. Whom do they come to resemble through their unity? They resemble God Himself. A man and a woman must become one in order to resemble God, who created them in His image. Only then will God dwell with them. (70-76, 1974.2.8)

The man symbolizes heaven and the woman symbolizes the earth. The two must unite, creating harmony on the horizontal plane. (Blessed Family - 868)

The union of a man and a woman signifies a union of heaven and earth. (Blessed Family - 868)

The universe attains oneness through the embrace of a man and a woman in mutual adoration. This is the original image formed within God's ideal. (God's Will and the World - 27)

Why do we marry? We marry in order to learn to love the world and to gain the qualification to love all people. (37-108, 1970.12.22)

That which is called marriage refers to an appearance of love and at the same time an endowment of the right of creation and the right of dominion. (76-46, 1975.1.26)

The purpose of marriage is to join together the man's and woman's worlds of heart and to perfect the love of each of them. So to be married is to declare that you will show proof of this love. If you have perfected your love and your heart through marriage, we can say that you have realized the ideal of the family. If you have accomplished this by the time of your death, you are sure to go to the Kingdom of Heaven. (97-276, 1978.3.26)

What is marriage? Why is marriage important? It is because marriage is a path for finding love. It is a path to love and a path to creating life. It is a path for the life of a man and a woman to become one. In marriage, the lineage of the man and the woman becomes mixed. History manifests through marriage; a nation emerges and the ideal world begins. (279-251, 1996.9.15)

For whom do you marry? It is for the sake and common benefit of humankind. Thus, marriage represents the world. The man is a man representing the world, and the woman is also a woman representing the world. Then where must you start? You should start from a position of representing the world. The meaning of marriage is to serve the public will of all humankind. (75-278, 1975.1.12)

You should have the attitude that you will raise her like your younger sister, love her like your wife, and serve her like your mother. In loving her, you should start by loving her as a younger sister, and only then love her as your wife; in all, you should love her like your younger sister, elder sister, bride, and mother. Only then can we restore God's unfulfilled love, lost through the Fall. (31-88, 1970.4.20)

What do we have to love in order to love our nation? First, a man should love a woman by regarding her as a representative of all the women of this nation. Likewise, the woman, rather than thinking of the man as just one among many, should think of him as a representative of all the men in the entire world. When a man and a woman regard each other as representatives in this way and then unite and form a family, this family will be a family of the heavenly kingdom. (26-153, 1969.10.25)

True happiness for a woman is found when she meets her partner of love. (Blessed Family - 340)

Love, after all, cannot be felt when one is alone. The same is true for happiness. (145-267, 1986.5.15)

You feel true happiness only when you can feel the heart of your partner and love your partner in an equal and reciprocal relationship. (Blessed Family - 342)

Let's say that you were attracted to a man because he was handsome. Then suppose he was crippled in an accident a week after you married, and that led you to seek a divorce. This would not be true love but false love. (Blessed Family - 351)

Genuine love is absolute, unchanging, and eternal. (Blessed Family - 351)

You should have a creed that you will get married for the sake of your partner and not for your own sake. It is wrong to think that you will get a successful or beautiful person for marriage. If you have understood the principle that a human being should live for the sake of others, then you should consider that marriage also is for the sake of your partner. According to the original view of marriage, you should determine that no matter how ugly your wife may be you will love her more than a beautiful woman. (Blessed Family - 361)

Given that he was born as a human being, if a man cannot embrace the notion that he will love his wife as he loves God and humankind itself and more than anyone else in this world, then he will not be able to return to the heavenly kingdom. As a man, if he does not know how to love a woman, he cannot love God and humankind. (97-319, 1978.4.1)

I would say that marriage is a ceremony to open and enter the gate of the palace of happiness. It is for this reason that marriage is a great event of human affairs. Love is the greatest thing in human affairs, for it transcends time and space, and marriage is a ceremony to reveal and confirm such love. (Blessed Family - 356)

In getting married, you should not think that you will be a husband to a beauty. Rather, you should think that you will be someone who can wed an ugly woman and still live better than anyone else. This way, you should be a husband who can be revered by any beautiful woman in the world. If you have this kind of viewpoint, you should have no trouble relating to any kind of woman. (26-332, 1969.10.3)

What kind of husband or wife do you want to meet and be married to? You should make it a principle, before you embark on your married life, that you will love even the most insignificant man as a devoted wife. You should know this. The higher the power of your love, the freer you can operate on the stage of the infinite universe. (Blessed Family - 636)

For humankind, love is an eternal thing -- it is one, not two. When a man and a woman become joined through love, they are to grow old together for a hundred years on earth and live together eternally after death. Although the bodies are two, they join as one and rotate, thereby becoming one body. When the two bodies become one, God comes to rotate together with them, thus forming a four position foundation of love. This is love's ideal setting. False love cannot invade it, and only true love comes to dwell in it. (Blessed Family - 344)

The true ideal is realized when, after achieving perfect maturity as an individual and after perfecting your partner, you receive recognition because of your love centered on God. (19-314, 1968.3.17)

The bride and bridegroom should become one body through God's original love, not through money, political power, or fame. (Blessed Family - 880)

If a beautiful man and a beautiful woman, each created as God's greatest work of art, were to make love centering on God, this would be a sublime expression of the highest, most transcendental love, rather than worldly love. This love is the most beautiful and representative love, the kind of love that will shine for all of eternity. (26-153, 1969.10.25)

To receive a taste of true love, you must have a realm of the ideal, and for this a man needs a woman and a woman absolutely needs a man. You should know that for the sake of true love, an absolute man and woman join together through the efforts of their united heart. When an absolute man and woman have been joined as one, God will come and dwell in their midst. (Blessed Family - 340)

International marriage is the quickest way for the different races of the world to be one. There is no other way. A man and a woman chosen from two utterly different cultural realms and environments must become one through God's love. This is complete harmony and unification. In order to accomplish such a great task, we must draw from the immense power of love, for only the highest love can transcend national boundaries, racial boundaries, cultural boundaries, and the boundaries of knowledge. (God's Will and the World - 499)

God's love and human love are essentially the same. Love is an effort to become one. The reason a man and a woman long for each other is that the man can possess God only through the woman, and the woman can do so only through the man. Love means to like each other. (Blessed Family - 334)

Single people will never be able to go to the heavenly kingdom. For singles, the heavenly kingdom is a land of despair. Although there is at least hope in a land where one is lonely, a land of despair means a state of hopelessness. (10-143, 1978.10.28)

A man is born for the sake of a woman, and a woman for the sake of a man. There is an original rule that whenever you assert yourself, God is absent, and whenever you respect others, God is with you. The fact that we walk with two feet itself reflects a thinking that is in accordance with this original rule and the principle. (God's Will and the World - 543)

Is it not true that a woman is born in order to meet a man, and a man is born in order to meet a woman? This is the highest truth. Therefore, we must be gaining the right of Blessing in accordance with such a rule, for to deviate from the highest truth is the highest evil. (21-201, 1968.11.20)

In a traditional marriage, the bride and bridegroom bow deeply to each other. Do you know why they bow deeply? It is to express a promise to live for the sake of each other. If they do not live for each other's sake, love will run away. (Blessed Family - 361)

The civil law of Korea prohibits the marriage of people with the same family name and origin, and encourages marriages between different clans. This is because Koreans are a people that long for unification. (19-305, 1968.3.10)

Section 2. The Love that Man and Woman Desire

In your life's journey, the loveliest and most beautiful time is your youth. In youth, your looks are like the most precious flower. Someone who can love fully can be invited into God's living room. A man and a woman who have such love can receive God's blessings and be invited into His living room. (26-151, 1968.6.4)

What is human happiness? Can you say you are happy simply because you have a lot of money, even enough to adorn yourself with diamonds? You can find true happiness only when you laugh, sing, and whisper together with your partner, both of you enraptured in love. Those who can do this are truly happy people. I would say that those who can hear whispers from a lover are happy people; the soft whispers of your spouse who is caressing your earlobe can make you feel so happy that you would think you were dreaming. Youth is among the happiest of times; this is when the flower of your youth is still blooming radiantly, when you are virtually bursting with love, and when you are to unite in love with another. (Blessed Family - 366)

An ideal person does not seek a partner who becomes entirely absorbed into the love of man and woman. Rather, such a person seeks a partner who first loves the world, God, and humankind, and then loves you with his or her remaining love. (46-42, 1971.7.18)

True happiness for a woman is to meet her true subject partner in love. (Blessed Family - 340)

However seriously a man looks to find love as a single person, he will only be viewed as a crazy man. (Blessed Family - 340)

No matter how talented a man or woman may be, it is of no use when there is no love. (175-165, 1988.4.16)

Men and women are opposite in all aspects. Women are uni-directional, while men are multi-directional. Also, women stay home, while men travel here and there around the world. These are opposite types of personality. Through what do these men and women unite as subject and object partners? They unite through love. It is also love that unites humankind and God. (38-255, 1971.1.8)

God created humankind for the sake of the perfection of the ideal of love. Therefore, the relationship of humankind and God is a relationship of the highest love between subject partner and object partner. Then, when does humankind reach perfection? It will happen only when a man and a woman reach a point where they make a connection of love and understand the value of love. (128-132, 1983.6.11)

Even though a man maybe handsome and healthy, this means nothing without a woman. A man who is preoccupied with his handsome looks and health is useless. There are many men who live their lives in a self-centered way; this is one of the reasons why history has been tragic. You should know that God's providence has been to improve and transform this self-centered world. (Blessed Family - 340)

Therefore the best thing in the world is the notion of a woman for a man and a man for a woman. The love that charms men is not found in other men, nor is the love that enchants women found in other women. Isn't that so? Do you long for love when you are alone? (37-27, 1970.12.22)

In loving a woman with God's love, a man should be able to say, "I love her completely. We share a love that will not change from beginning to end." Also, a woman should keep her body tightly sealed in order to share such a love. She should close it tightly like a peony flower, as if it were wrapped up in many layers. This way, the couple should see the harmony of heaven and earth in spring and start a new life in unity with this. They should do this well. (26-156, 1969.10.25)

Among the flowers, which do you think is the most beautiful? I don't know what kind of flowers you like, but I like flowers that look like a trumpet. The reason is that trumpet-looking flowers send their fragrances far away. Trumpet-looking flowers represent deep love. Flowers must look like a trumpet if their fragrances are to spread far. For this reason, the more a flower resembles a trumpet, the more fragrance it has.

So if women are like flowers, they should have a deep heart of love. Flowers with beautiful fragrances are loved by all people. Lilies, for example, are loved for their simplicity and elegance. I think the clear and elegant lilies are aesthetically and emotionally rich flowers because their stems aid leaves have the same color so it is difficult to distinguish which is which. Likewise, ladies should be like morning glories and lilies. They should be clear and elegant flowers. (Blessed Family - 614)

No matter how pretty a girl may be, there is a time after emerging from adolescence, which is the most special time. This is when her beauty truly flowers, the most precious time of her life. Nevertheless, is there any woman who would say that she would rather live alone? This is not a woman. Also, is there any man who has a fine body and yet says that he would rather live alone during such a lovely time of youth? At such times you are bound to look for your partner. Why do you do this? It is because you resemble God. During young adulthood, the most precious time of your life, you seek out your life partner. This is true for men and women alike. (32-248, 1970.7.19)

Why do men exist? Men often say they are not interested in such issues because they can usually live alone, but men are born for the sake of women. Without women, men have no reason to be here. There is nothing that has come into being for its own sake. (285-220, 1997.5.19)

When we look at our five senses; eyes, nose, ears, mouth and hands are all there for the sake of my partner. Do our eyes exist to look into our own eyes? True love can fully mobilize and concentrate the five senses. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth and hands are tools of true love, created for the sake of true love. (299-119, 1999.2.7)

What is the most precious thing for a woman? It is a man. What kind of a man does she need? It does not matter whether he is talented or dull, whether he is crippled or not. The question is with which man she can find a love with value. (Blessed Family - 340)

If a woman loved by God lives in the heart of a man, and a man who is loved by God lives in the heart of a woman, and they cherish each other, God will rejoice over it, and also all things will be happy together. Their joyful embrace will be of great importance in bringing joy to heaven and earth. The embrace of a man and a woman in mutual adoration is a point where the universe becomes one. This is what the original image is like that is realized under God's ideal. (God's Will and the World - 27)

What is the original purpose for which man is born? It is undeniable that he is born for a woman. Conversely, a woman is not born for the sake of a woman. We should know that the problem occurs where she has not fully convinced herself that she is born for the sake of a man. Since God, the great master of the creation of heaven and earth, has stipulated this as an original rule of creation, we cannot enter the good, true, joyful and peaceful world, or the world of love and ideal, without following this rule. (75-319, 1975.1.16)

You should not cast sidelong glances even though there are countless men in the world. Fidelity is more precious than your life. It is women who will open the path that will resonate throughout history, the path that can be loved by the husband, by sons and daughters, by the nation, even loved by the whole world. Women should undertake the solemn task of establishing a basis from which the beauty, nobility, and emotional tradition of women can shine forth. In order to accomplish this, you should give your utmost heart as a truthful and genuine person. (39-217, 1971.1.10)

When is the most beautiful time, the time of youth when the flower is in full bloom? It is young adulthood. This period is the seven years from age eighteen to twenty-four. This seven year period is a time never to be repeated in your life, a time when the beautiful flower of your love will blossom. How precious is this beautiful time that will come only once in your life.

You know peonies, don't you? Their buds are wrapped tightly in dozens of layers so they cannot be opened up easily. The same is true for men and women. Then when should you fully reveal the crimson bud of your love that blossoms like a yellow flower? The time when beauty is best revealed within the harmony of heaven and earth is the time of youth. For human beings, it is a time when the blossoms are at their peak. Youth is a time when you shine as the central pinnacle of God's great work of art. It is at this time that you should be in full bloom under God's blessings. (26-151, 1969.10.25)

You should not defile the purity of your heart during your youth, which is a precious time in which to overcome and rectify the sorrow of Adam and Eve, who lost their pure heart in their youth. You should have a firm principle and determination that says, "Even if I live alone for tens of thousands of years, I will absolutely not abuse love." (37-107, 1970.12.22)

As a youth, when you carefully keep a holy pure heart that is not dirtied or stained by the fallen world, where should you place it? You should place it on the altar that will bring God the greatest joy: the holy ground where a man and a woman with such a pure heart can meet and become bound as one. This should be the place where the bride and groom meet. (64-84, 1972.10.24) 

 Section 3. The Blessing Is The Ceremony to Convey God's Love

Our Unification Church calls marriage the Blessing. (Blessed Family - 544)

The Blessing means true parents and true children meeting together to realize the purpose of creation. (19-73, 1967.12.27)

What is the Blessing? It is becoming one with God. If you become one with God, you will gain everything. You will receive everything God has, everything the Subject has. (Blessed Family - 544)

So far, you have not been able to make a complete connection with True Patents. It is the Blessing that is given to you so that you can make that connection. (23-332, 1969.6.15)

I will take eternal responsibility for those who have received the Blessing, even in the spirit world. I will govern them and guide them. The Blessing is also the means of forging an eternal connection with me. (God's Will and the World - 533)

The Blessing opens the gate of the heavenly kingdom. You enter it with your children. (Blessed Family - 544)

Although there is a myriad of people in the world, they can be divided into men and women. Our fundamental purpose is to find a secret method by which they can become one. We are pursuing this because the origin of such a fruitful family has not yet appeared. When such an initiating point appears and gives root to its seeds, they will grow into new trees. This is the Blessing Ceremony. (31-190, 1970.5.31)

The Blessing Ceremony is not simply a wedding ceremony where a man and a woman come together and then raise a family. Wedding ceremonies have so far been self-centered, but our wedding ceremony should be conducted in a sacred and magnificent manner, as something to return joy to God and as a precious offering to indemnify history. The Principle clearly explains that our wedding ceremony is an effort not only to resolve God's sorrow caused by the Fall of Adam and Eve, but also to surpass the standard of bride and bridegroom that Jesus was unable to reach. (God's Will and the World - 27)

Even though you have established faith through God's providence, you have to be engrafted in order to be restored as God's child. (Blessed Family - 508)

To say that you are to be reborn does not mean rebirth through the flesh and blood of parents who are descendants of the fallen Adam and Eve; rather, you are to be reborn through the flesh and blood of the parents who have nothing to do with the Fall. Otherwise, you cannot return to God. Since the fundamental root of sin started with Adam and Eve, you cannot return to God's side until you have stepped over it and acquired the qualification that you are born in a place that has no connection with the original sin. (22-269, 1969.5.4)

In being reborn, you should not fall behind Adam and Eve. If you did, the fundamental restoration would not be realized. The process of rebirth must start with individuals, then families, peoples, nations, and ultimately the entire world. Today's Christians do not know this fact. (58-42, 1972.6.6)

Even a grandmother over the age of eighty knows that if she died without receiving the Blessing, she would be unable to enter the heavenly kingdom. Therefore, even if a man may be thousands of kilometers away, she will want to receive at least a condition of Blessing by tying a silk thread to him even at the last moment of death. This is what Blessing is like. I am destined to meet with difficulty because I have to do this work. (22-16, 1969.1.1)

The term "true parents" means a man and woman who are, spiritually, completely mature. It refers to a man and a woman who have established a vertical relationship with God and a horizontal relationship with each other, at ninety degrees. So in order to engraft young men and women, I gather them together, and engraft to them a bud from Mother and a bud from Father. This is the Blessing. (131-174, 1984.5.1)

The Blessing Ceremony is none other than a ceremony of transferring love. In this ceremony of transference, just as the parents live with God's love, you receive Parents' love in place of God's love with the instruction to live a certain way. This is the Blessing Ceremony. You do not receive it from some famous person; this would be an archangelic marriage. If a famous person comes along and arranges a marriage for you, this is always a marriage given by the archangel. (96-236, 1978.1.22)

Giving you the Blessing means to transfer Heaven's entire authority to you. (17-328, 1967.4.16)

The Blessing is the key to open the door of liberation for all people; this is the door that history has been seeking. (God's Will and the World - 27)

What have I considered most precious in my life? The Blessing. Also for you, the greatest gift in human history is the Blessing. (23-317, 1969.6.8)

God's ideal finally starts in a place where new love centering on God, that is, the love in accordance with the law of creation, is determined. (19-314, 1968.3.17)

To have a different lineage means to have a different father. Therefore, a person born from a different father and different lineage cannot indemnify his sins except through original parents untainted by the Fall. Therefore, until now history had been making connections through religious ideals until the arrival of the one person not connected with the Fall who has the right to be the first ancestor. (20-115, 1968.5.1)

For you to have received the Blessing means the time has come when you can make a start, in the name of the bride and bridegroom, with your people, church, and tribe that are chosen on the foundation built on earth by the Messiah's hard work of two thousand years. Can you be tribal messiahs? Even Satan can't do anything because you have made a parent and child connection with me. This is how incredible the Blessing is. (21-13, 1968.8.13)

What is the cosmos-centered ideology? It is the ideology centered on true parents. After all, these two ideologies are the ideologies based on parents. This is the ideology of your home, your nation, and yourself. Whose ideology would the world embrace if there had been no Fall? It would have embraced an Adam-centered ideology.

This ideology is the ideology centered on true parents, that is, the ideology centered on the father and mother. There can be no ideology above that. Therefore, the Unification Church, with True Parents at the forefront, should resolve problems of the heart using the ideology of heaven and working within the boundary of the original ideal family. As long as we practice this ideology within our families, we will not perish -- we cannot perish. (26-201, 1969.10.25)

What is the cosmos-centered ideology? Imagine a family that has more than enough treasures to fill heaven and earth. It would mean that the family members would, rather than being obsessed by them, forget about them entirely in order to live in intoxication with God's love. What belongs to the son belongs to the parents, and what belongs to the parents belongs to God. They should all be connected as a whole in this way. (35-280, 1970.10.25)

What is the ideology centered on true family? It is the ideology based on God's love. No matter how prideful a person may be at being the greatest in the world, he would still be miserable without love. This true family-centered ideology teaches that when the parents go, the sons and daughters eternally follow; that when the elder brother goes, the younger brother eternally follows; and even when the younger brother goes, the elder brother follows him eternally. Hence, if there is a younger brother's nation, the elder brother's nation must say that it will follow it. Likewise, if there is an elder brother's nation, the younger brother's nation must say that it will also follow it. (21-49, 1968.9.1)

(next section)
(CSG Index)