As a Peace-Loving Global Citizen
The Autobiography
CHAPTER FIVE
LOVING FAMILIES
CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
My Wife,
Hak Ja Han Moon
(Page 190)
The first time I saw my wife,
she was a young woman of fourteen
who had just graduated
from elementary school (sixth grade).
She was a quiet girl
who never raised her voice
and never sought to bring
attention to herself.
She always took the same route
to and from the church.
When she was first introduced to me,
I was told she was the daughter
of one of our early church members,
M r s. S o o n A e H o n g.
"What is you name?" I asked her.
"My name is Hak Ja Han,"
she answered in a clear voice.
In that moment,
before I knew what was happening, I said,
"So Hak Ja Han has been born in Korea!"
I said this three times in repetition,
and then prayed, saying,
"God! Thank you for sending to Korea
such a wonderful woman as Hak Ja Han."
I then looked at her, and said:
"Hak Ja Han,
I'm afraid you are going to have to do
a lot of sacrificing."
All these words came out of my mouth
spontaneously.
Later, Mrs. Hong told me
that she thought it strange
that I would say the same thing three times
after meeting her daughter for the first time.
My wife has told me that she also
remembers the first, short meeting.
She told me she remembers everything
that I said then as if I had
delivered a sermon just for her,
and she kept it in her heart.
She said she felt like she had received
an important revelaton about her future
that she could not forget.
(Page 191)
Her mother was from a faithful
Presbyterian family,
so she was raised in a Christian home.
Her hometown was Jeongju,
which is my hometown as well,
but she had lived in Anju
until coming to South Korea
during the Korean War.
When Mrs. Hong
first began attending our church,
she lived a very faithful life
in Chuncheon and
raised her daughter strictly.
My wife attended a nursing school
that was operated by a Catholic Church.
I am told that the rules
of this school were so strict
that it was as if
she were living in a convent.
She had a gentle character,
and during the time
she was raised by her mother,
she never went anywhere
except to school and to our church.
I was forty at the time,
and I sensed that the time had come
for me to marry again.
All I needed to do
was wait for God to tell me,
"The time has come, so get married,"
and I would do as I was told.
Seung Do Ji,
an elderly woman in our church,
began an effort in October 1959
to prepare for my engagement,
even though
there was still no bride-to-be.
Another church member
who had been praying for seven years
about a wife for me
told me one day that she had a dream
in which she saw that
Hak Ja Han was my wife.
Mrs. Ji told me about
a strange dream she had,
"What kind of dream is this?"
she exclaimed.
"I saw hundreds of cranes come flying.
I tried to wave them away with my arms,
but they kept coming
and they finally covered you
with their white feathers.
Is this some kind of omen for the future?"
The "Hak" in Hak Ja Han
is the Chinese character for crane.
(Page 192)
Then Hak Ja Han herself had a dream
in which I appeared and told her,
"The day is near, so make preparations."
My wife later told me
that in her dream she said to me
in a humble tone,
"I have been living until now
in accordance with the will of God.
In the future, as well,
I will follow God's will as His servant,
no matter what that will may be."
A few days after my bride-to-be
had this dream, I asked Mrs. Hong
to bring her daughter to me.
This was our first meeting
since she had been introduced to me
at age fourteen.
That day, I asked this young lady
many questions.
In every case, she responded
with composure and spoke clearly.
In this meeting, I asked
my future wife to draw a picture.
Without hesitation,
she picked up a pencil and started
drawing on a sheet of paper.
When she had finished
and placed her picture before me,
I was very impressed by what I saw.
I then looked at ther face,
and her shy expression was
very beautiful.
Her heart was as wonderful
as the picture she had drawn.
We were engaged on March 27, 1960,
and had our marriage ceremony
barely two weeks later,
on April 11.
I did not set a date at the time
but when I called Miss Han
several days later, I told her,
"Tomorrow morning,
we will have a marriage ceremony."
She responded simply, "Is that so?"
and did not ask any questions
or try to speak in opposition.
She seemed entirely obedient to Heaven.
That was how pure and gentle she was,
Then as now,
when it comes to the will of God,
she has a strong determination.
At the marriage ceremony
I wore a samokwandae,
the formal dress of government officers
that now is commonly used in
traditional wedding ceremonies,
and she wore traditional Korean attire
that included a jokdori bridal tiara.
My bride, who was then seventeen and
more than twenty years younger than I,
looked confident and radiant with
her tightly closed lips and pretty face.
During the ceremony
I told my bride that she was about
to embark on a difficult course.
(Page 193)
"I think you are
already aware that marrying me
will not be like any other marriage.
We are becoming husband and wife
to complete the mission
given to us by God
to become True Parents,
and not to pursue
the happiness of two individuals,
as is the case
with other people in this world.
God wants to bring about
the Kingdom of Heaven on earth
through a true family.
You and I
will travel a difficult path
to become True Parents
who will open the gates
to the Kingdom of Heaven for others.
It is a path that no one else
in history has traveled, so even I
don't know all it will involve.
During the next seven years,
you will experience many things
that will be difficult to endure.
Don't forget, even for a moment,
that the life we live
is different from others.
Don't do anything,
no matter how trivial,
without first discussing it with me,
and obey everything I tell you."
She responded,
"My heart is already set.
Please do not worry."
I could see
in her expression that day
that she had made a strong
determination.
Her difficult challenges began
the day after our marriage.
The first difficulty she faced was
that she could not see her mother
as freely as before. My wife, her mother,
and her maternal grandmother
were all only daughters.
As a result the relationhip
between mother and daughter
was particularly strong.
In order to take on her public mission
and develop the proper focus,
I asked her to live
what amounted to an ascetic life
for three years. That meant
she could not see her mother
or any of her relatives for three years.
She lived in a room
rented from a church member.
She came to church no more
than once a day,
usually in the evening.
So as not to create disruption,
she left through the back door.
(Page 194)
I myself was often involved
in worship services
or praying through the night
and was rarely at home,
but the separation
was not for practical reasons.
The separation was to establish
a spiritual condition
of unconditional devotion
to her mission.
As the outragious rumors
about me continued to circulate,
this separation
from her relatives and me
made it ever more difficult
for my young wife to endure.
At the time of our marriage,
the Unification Church
already had been established
in over one hundred twenty
communities around Korea.
Even in our church, however,
there were those who
were critical of our marriage.
Some envied her, some hated her
and many stories circulated.
As if that were not enough,
she lived in someone else's home,
while older women of our church
followed me everywhere I went.
Eventually, my seemingly cold
treatment of my wife
brought an end to all the
criticism and envy against her.
In fact, people began
to sympathize with her.
For example, many members
criticized me when I couldn't go
to see my wife even though
she was suffering postpartum illness
and was shivering
in a poorly heated room after
the birth of our first daughter.
Some of them said, "How can he
even call himself her husband?"
"You're going too far, sir,"
I was told. "If you married her,
You should live with her.
What are you doing
making it difficult for her
even to see your face?"
The people who had been
criticizing my wife
one by one began to
take her side instead.
In spite of her young age,
it was necessary that my wife
receive harsh training.
During the time we lived together,
the pressures on her were relentless.
She never had even a single
free moment for herself.
She constantly was on edge,
as if she were walking
on a thin layer of ice, wondering
"Will today be peaceful?"
Will tomorrow be peaceful?"
Because she had to obtain
God's standard of motherly love,
I corrected her for
even a single wrong word.
(Page 195)
Sometimes
even her affections for me
had to be curtailed for the sake
of her eternal mission.
It was all necessary
for her to become True Mother,
but I am sure it caused
much grief in her heart.
I might say a word in passing
and not think much of it.
She, however,
had to harmonize herself
with my every word, so I am sure
her suffering was great.
It took us seven years to
conform ourselves to each other.
I relate these things because
the most important thing
in a marriage relationship
is trust.
It is what makes it possible
for two people to become one.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
An Incomparable
Inner Beauty
(Page 196)
My wife and I
made a promise to each other
after we were married.
We agreed that
no matter how upset or angry
one of us might become,
we would not allow anyone to think,
"It looks like
Rev. & Mrs. Moon had a fight."
We agreed that no matter how many
children we might have,
we would not let them see
any sign that
we might have had a fight.
Children are God. Children are God
with very small hearts.
So when a child says,
"Mom!" and calls,
you must always answer,
"What is it?" with a smile.
After going through
such a harsh course for seven years,
my wife became a wonderful mother.
All the gossip about her disappeared,
and a peaceful happiness
came to our family. My wife
gave birth to fourteen children,
and she has embraced
each one with so much love.
When she is away from home
on our speaking tours
and mission life, she sends
letters and postcards
to our children every day.
While it was difficult for her
to raise fourteen children
over the course of over forty years,
she never complained.
(Page 197)
Several times, I had to be overseas
when my wife was about to give birth.
She had to bear such times alone.
There were days when
I could not do anything for her.
Once a member wrote me
about my wife's
difficult financial situation.
There was concern
over whether she was getting
sufficient nutrition.
Even then, my wife never
complained about her difficulty.
Because I sleep
only two or three hours a night,
she has dutifully done the same
throughout our life together.
These sorts of matters
pain me to this day.
My wife has such a tremendous
heart of love and care that
she even gave
a special ring I bought her
to someone in need.
When she sees someone
in need of clothes,
she buys that person clothes,
or gives them some of ours.
When she comes across someone hungry,
she buys the person a meal.
There have been many times
when we have received
presents from others
that she would give away
to someone else she felt
needed them more.
Once we were
touring the Netherlands
and had a chance to visit a factory
that processed diamonds.
Wanting to express
my heart of regret toward my wife
for all her sacrifices,
I bought her a diamond ring.
I didn't have much money,
so I couldn't buy her a large one.
I picked out one I liked
and presented it to her. Later,
she even gave away that ring.
When I saw the ring
wasn't on her finger, I asked her,
"Where did the ring go?"
She answered,
"You know by now I can't keep
something like that when
someone has a greater need."
On another occasion I saw her
pulling out a large wrapping cloth,
and she was working quietly
to pack some clothes.
"What are you going to do
with those clothes?" I asked her.
"I have a use for them," she said.
She filled several wrapping cloths
with clothes without telling me
what she planned to do with them.
When she was finished
she told me she was getting ready
to send the clothes
to our missionaries
working in foreign countries.
(Page 198)
"This one's for Mongolia,
this one's for Africa, and
this one's for Paraguay," she said.
She had a slightly
self-conscious smile that
made her look so sweet
when she told me. Still today,
she takes it upon herself
to look after
our overseas missionaries.
My wife is the patron of the
International Relief and Friendship Foundation
established in 1979.
It has done service projects
in numerous countries,
such aS Congo, Senegal, and
Ivory Coast.
The foundation gives food
to impoverished children,
medicine to those who are sick,
and clothing to those in need.
In Korea, she created
the Aewon charity organization
in 1994. It's activities include
managing a canteen
serving free food to the poor
and supporting low-wage earners,
the handicapped,
children taking care of
families in place of parents,
and others. It also provides aid
to the North Korean people.
My wife has also been active
in women's organizations
for some time.
The Women's Federation for World Peace,
which she established in 1992,
has branches in some
eighty countries and is
in general consultative status
with the Economic and Social
Council of the United Nations as a
nongovernmental organization.
Throughout history,
women have been persecuted,
but I predict this will change.
The coming world will be
one of reconciliation and peace
based on women's maternal character,
love and sociability.
The time is coming when
the power of women
will save the world.
Unfortunately today,
many women's organizations
apparently believe that
standing in opposition to men
is the way to demonstrate
the power of women.
The result is an environment
of competition and conflict.
(Page 199)
The women's organizations
my wife leads, on the other hand,
seek to bring about peace
on the principle that
women should work together,
take initiative, and empower
one another across traditional lines
of race, culture, and religion to
create healthy families as the
cornerstone of the culture of peace.
The organizations she works with
do not call for a liberation
of women from men and families.
Instead, they call for women
to develop and maintain
families filled with love.
My wife's dream is to see
all women raised as true
daughters with filial hearts
who can create peace at home.
The women's movement
being carried out by my wife
serves the goal of true families,
which are the root of peace
in all areas of life.
During one of the most intense
periods of my public work,
our children had to live
close to half the year without
their parents. In our absence,
they lived in our home,
cared for by church members.
Our home was always filled with
church members.
Every meal in our home
had guests at the table,
guests who always received
priority over our children.
Because of this environment,
our children grew up with a sense of
lonliness that is not experienced
by children in other families.
Even worse was the suffering
they had to endure because of
their father.
Wherever they went, they were
singled out
as sons and daughters of
"the cult leader Sun Myung Moon."
This suffering sent them through
periods of wandering and rebellion,
but they have always returned home.
We were not able to support them
properly as parents,
but five have graduated from
Harvard University.
I could not be more grateful for
their courageous accomplishments.
Now they are old enough
to help me in my work, but even
to this day, I am the strict father.
I still teach them to become
people who do more than I do
to serve Heaven and live
for the sake of humanity.
(Page 200)
My wife is a woman
of incredible strength, but
the death of our second son,
Heung Jin Nim,
was difficult for her.
It happened in December 1983.
She was with me
in Kwangju, Korea, participating
in a Victory of Communism rally,
when we received
an international phone call
that Heung Jin Nim had been
in a traffic accident and had been
transported to a hospital.
We boarded a flight the next day
and went directly to New York,
but Heung Jin Nim was lying
unconscious on the hospital bed.
A truck traveling
over the speed limit as it came
down a hill tried to brake and
swerved into the opposite lane,
where Heung Jin Nim was driving.
Two of his best friends were
in the car with him at the time.
Heung Jin cut the wheel
to the right so the driver's side
took most of the impact
from the truck. By doing so, he
saved the lives of his two friends.
I went to the place near our home
where the accident occurred,
and the black tire marks veering
off to the right were still visible.
Heung Jin
finally went to the heavenly world
in the early morning of January 2.
He had turned seventeen
just a month before.
Words cannot describe
my wife's sorrow
when she had to send a child
she had raised with love
to the heavenly world before her.
She could not cry, however.
In fact, it was important that she
not shed any tears.
We are people who know
the world of the eternal spirit.
A person's spirit does not
disappear like so much dust,
just because
the physical life is lost.
The soul
ascends to the world of spirit.
As parents, the pain of knowing
that we would never be able to see
or touch our beloved child in this
world was almost unbearable.
My wife would not cry; she could
only lovingly put her hands
on the hearse that carried
Heung Jin's body.
This tragic accident occurred
as we planned for the betrothal
of Heung Jin to Hoon Sook Pak,
who was studying ballet.
I had to speak to Hoon Sook about
his departure from this world
and find out from her
what she wanted to do.
(Page 201)
I told her I knew it wouldn't be
easy or fair to her parents if she
chose to go ahead with
such a marriage.
I told her it was best to forget
the betrothal.
Hoon Sook was adamant, however,
"I am aware of the existence
of the spiritual world," she said.
"Please let me spend my life
with Heung Jin."
In the end, Hoon Sook became
our daughter-in-law fifty days
after Heung Jin's departure.
My wife and I will never forget
her bright smile as she
was accompanied by a framed
photograph of Heung Jin
throughout the spiritual
marriage ceremony.
It would seem that
my wife would be devastated
each time she faced such
difficult situations, but
she always remained unshaken.
Even in the most difficult and
unbearable circumstances,
my wife never lost her serene smile.
She always crossed over life's
most difficult peaks successfully.
When church members ask my wife's
advice on raising their own children,
she tells them: "Be patient and wait.
The period when children wander
is only temporary.
No matter what they do,
embrace them, love them, and
wait for them.
Children will always return
to the love of their parents."
I have never raised my voice
toward my wife. This is not because
of my character, but because my wife
has never given me cause to do so.
Throughout our life together
she has labored to care for me
with complete, loving devotion.
She is even
the one to care for my hair.
So this great saint of world affairs
is also the best barber in the world.
Now that I am old
I make many new demands on her,
and she alway responds.
If I ask her to cut my toenails,
she will do it cheerfully.
My toenails are mine,
but I can't see them very well.
She sees them perfectly well,
though. It's a strange thing.
The older I become, the more
precious my wife is to me.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
Promises That Must
Never Be Broken
(Page 202)
During our matching
and marriage ceremonies,
I ask the brides and grooms
to make promises to each other
that must never be broken.
First, a husband and wife must
always trust and love each other.
Second, they must not
cause any pain
to the heart of their partner.
Third, they must educate
their children to maintain
sexual purity.
Fourth, all members
of their family must help and
encourage each other so that
they become a true family.
Chastity before marriage
and fidelity in marriage
are of utmost importance.
This is what I teach so people
can live to their highest potential
as human beings, creating and
maintaining healthy families.
Marriage is more
than a simple coming together
of a man and woman.
It is a precious ceremony
of commitment to carry on
God's work of creation.
Marriage is the path by which
a man and woman become as one,
create new life,
and establish true love.
Through marriage, a new future
is created: Societies are formed;
nations are built.
God's world of peace is realized
with married families at the center.
It is in the family that
God's Kingdom of Heaven
is brought about.
So husbands and wives must be
centers of peace.
(Page 203)
Not only must there be love
between the husband and wife,
but the couple must also be able
to bring harmony to their
extended families.
It is not enough
that the husband and wife
live well together in love.
All the relatives
must love each other as well.
I tell brides and grooms
to have many children.
To bear many children and
raise them is God's blessing.
It is unthinkable that
human beings apply their own
standard of judgment and
arbitrarily abort precious lives
given to them by God.
All life born into this world
embodies God's will.
All life is noble and precious,
so it must be cared for
and protected.
Naturally,
a husband and wife must
maintain mutual trust
and nurture their love.
The promise I emphasize the most
to people planning to marry is
"teach your children to maintain
sexual purity."
This is an obvious promise,
but it has become difficult to keep
in today's society.
The worse the world becomes,
however, the more important it is
to strictly keep the promise
of sexual purity.
The perfection of human beings
and peace in the world
come about through the family.
The purpose of religion is for
everyone to become
people of goodness who can then
bring about an ideal world of peace.
No matter how much politicians
may put their heads together,
they will not bring about peace.
Formidable military power
will not bring peace.
The starting point
for bringing about peace
is the family.
When I arrived in America
in 1971, the wind
of promiscuous free sex
was blowing across the country,
and the entire society was
in the midst of confusion.
(Page 204)
Young people who had received
wonderful educations
were being destroyed one by one.
Sexual immorality was so bad
that it was becoming the norm.
Sexually transmitted diseases
were beginning to skyrocket.
The seriousness of the problem
was compounded by politicians,
academics, and clergy.
They knew about this problem,
but most of them ignored it.
They tried to look away
from the ugly reality
because they themselves had not
maintained sexual purity.
People who are not sexually pure
themselves
cannot urge their children to be so.
The degradation of sexual morality
among adults
destroys families and lead to
the ruin of children.
Immorality and licentiousness
in the personal lives of adults
ultimately destroy the lives
of their children.
The reason today's society
does not have a level of happiness
to match its level of
material affluence is that
families are being destroyed.
To save families, adults
must first live proper lives.
Then it is possible to raise children
in sexual purity.
The mother is the fortress
that protects the family.
No matter how much society
may change, the family can stand
as a healthy and peaceful family
only if the mother has the heart
to sacrifice and serve.
It is in such a family
that beautiful children can grow.
In educating our children,
what the children see and learn
in the family is most important.
A crab that walks sideways
cannot tell its offspring to walk
straight ahead. The parents
must show a good example.
True children
come from true families.
Truth is always very simple.
The most
difficult aspect of family life
is raising children properly.
We give birth to them in love
and raise them in love, but
they don't necessarily grow up
the way their parents desire.
(Page 205)
What's worse,
today's materialistic culture is
destroying the innocent minds
of young people.
Young people who should be
growing up to become
responsible adults
capable of extraordinary things
are being lost to drugs.
Drug induced states make people
lose touch with their own spirit.
Young people
who have lost thier spirits
eventually can only fall into
crime and sexual immorality.
During adolescence, children
think everything should be
centered only on themselves,
and so there is the tendency
to rebel against
things the parent may say.
If the parent does not respond
with undertanding,
there is the possibility that
the child may
go to self-centered extremes.
On the other hand,
a child in adolescence can be
deeply moved by anything
that seems to connect
with his heart.
Perhaps on an autumn day,
the child will see a persimmon
fall from a tree
that has lost all its leaves.
The child cannot explain it,
but somehow it connects
with his heart and he will smile
and experience happiness.
This is a sign that
God's original character
is dwelling in his heart.
But if
adolescents involve themselves
in sexual relationships
their perceptions become clouded
and their power of judgment
diminished.
When an adolescent boy or girl
meet and start talking
with each other,
they can feel flushed
and there may be a change
in their heart rate.
If their minds are not brought
into harmony with God's standard
in that moment, they will surely
be moved in the direction
of self-centeredness.
They lose the means with which
to control their bodies.
During adolescence,
our cells open wide all the doors
of love in both the
physical body and the spirit.
The desires of our mind
and the desires of our body
are meant to become one
and function together.
(Page 206)
When we acquire
the nose of love,
we start to love smells that
we used to hate.
When we acquire
the mouth of love,
we start to love tastes
that we used to hate.
We want to listen all night
to the stories of love.
We want to keep touching
the person we love.
Adolescents start to think
they can be happy simply by
entering into a love relationship.
However, the doors of love
are designed by God
and are to open only
when the time is right.
Children must understand
that they need to wait
for the right time.
Parents must teach these things
to their adolescent children
very carefully.
Love is a process by which
we grow to resemble God.
Despite what
the world may tell us, it is not
something to be enjoyed
any time we please.
During adolescence, a child may
want to try really hard to copy
the activity in a thrilling movie.
People ask, "What's wrong with that?"
It is wrong because
irresponsible actions lead to
destruction.
When children mature and
acquire wisdom and knowledge,
they can control their social and
environmental experiences
and are truly free to do so,
but not during adolescence.
Why do we say,
"Do not give a knife to a child"?
It is because the child would
wave it around.
The child might understand
how to cut with a knife,
but he cuts without control.
The child might even cut
his mother's fingers.
Because children do not yet
fully understand consequences,
we do not give them knives.
The combination of parents
not teaching their children
the value of purity
and children rebelling
against their parents
leads to broken families.
Because of this,
societies are being broken.
Because of this,
nations are being destroyed.
Because of this,
humanity is being destroyed.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
To Love Is
to Give and Forget
(Page 207)
The family is the only
institution created by God.
It is the school of love
where people can learn
how to love each other
and live together in peace,
and it is the training center
where we practice
how to build a palace of peace
in the world.
It is where we learn how to
become a husband or wife who will
live for the sake of our spouse and
how to become a husband and wife
who will travel
on the eternal path of love.
The family is the base camp
for world peace,
and it must be such that
the children will say,
"We have never seen
our mother and father fight."
We come up against
all sorts of things in life.
Even the most loving couple can
have times when they may bicker
with each other, become angry,
and raise their voices.
When the children
come into the room, however,
it all must stop immediately.
No matter how angry
a husband may be, he must
relate to his spouse in peace when
the children are present.
The children must grow up thinking
their family is filled with joy
and their parents always
love each other.
Parents are like a second God
to their children.
If you ask your young children,
"Whom do you like better---
God or Mommy and Daddy?"---
and they say they like
their mom and dad better, then
that means they also like God.
(Page 208)
The most precious education
takes place in the family.
You won't find happiness
and peace in some other place.
The family is intended to be
the Kingdom of Heaven.
It would not matter if a person
possesses incredible wealth and fame
or even possesses the whole world.
If all is not right
with that person's family, then he
cannot be happy.
The Kingdom of Heaven
begins in the family.
If a husband and wife are bound
together in true love
and they build an ideal family,
this will connect directly
with the world.
I saw something interesting
when I was in Danbury prison.
We were using a bulldozer
to level a slope
and make a tennis court.
When it rained,
we would wait for it to stop,
and start up again
when the sun came out.
This process of starting and stopping
went on for months.
We had a long stretch of rain
for one period, and we couldn't work
for twenty consecutive days.
When the rain cleared and
we went out to start work again,
we found that
some kind of waterfowl
had created a nest where there were
some water weeds.
It was a place
not more than a few meters from
where the prisoners
would walk for exercise.
At first, we didn't even realize that
the bird was there.
Its camouflage was so perfect that
the bird's feathers could easily
be mistaken for the water weeds.
Once the bird laid its eggs,
though, we could see there was
a bird in among the grass.
The bird was sitting on some eggs
that looked like
pieces of black gravel.
Once the chicks hatched,
the mother
would go find some food,
bring it back to the nest, and put it
in the beaks of the chicks.
When the mother was returning
to the nest with food, however,
she never flew directly to the nest.
she would land a little distance
from the nest and then walk
the rest of the way.
Each time,
she approached the nest
from a different direction.
This was her wisdom
to make it more difficult
for others to find out the location
of the nest where the chicks were.
(Page 209)
The chicks ate the food
their mother brought them
and grew larger.
Sometimes, when a prisoner
would walk near the nest,
the mother would fly out
and chase him away
with her sharp beak.
She was afraid the prisoner
might harm the chicks.
The waterbird understood
the true love of parents.
True Love is willing to give up
its own life,
and there is no calculation there.
The heart of the bird that was willing
to sacrifice its life, if necessary,
to protect its offspring was true love.
Parents go the path of love,
no matter how difficult it becomes.
A parent is prepared, if needed,
to bury his life for the sake of love,
and this is true love.
The essence of love
is to cast aside any thought
of having others live for oneself,
it is to live for the sake of others
and give for the whole.
Love gives, but then forgets
even the fact that it has given and
continues to give without ceasing.
This is a love that gives in joy.
It is the heart that a mother feels
when she takes her infant
in her arms
and lets it feed from her breast.
Parents
will suffer for their children
until it seems their bones are
going to melt away, yet they never
feel that the work is difficult.
That is
how much they love their children.
True love begins with God
and comes to us from God.
So when the parents
say to their married children,
"When you like each other,
it is because of
the grace of your parents,"
the children
must be able to respond,
"If you had not
found such a spouse for me,
I don't know
what I would have done."
The family is a bundle of love.
When we
go to the Kingdom of Heaven
and unpack that bundle,
a wonderful father and mother
will jump out.
Beautiful children will jump out.
A benevolent
grandfather and grandmother
will jump out.
This is the bundle of love.
The family is the space in which
God's ideal is realized
and the place where we can see
the completion of God's work.
(Page 210)
God's will is to bring about a world
in which love is made real,
and the family is the place
where God's love overflows.
We only need to hear the word
family
for us to begin smiling.
This is because the family
is overflowing with true love that
truly lives for the sake of all members.
True love gives love,
then forgets even the fact that it gave,
and then gives again.
The love that has parents living for
their children and grandparents for
th grandchildren is true love.
The love that
lets a person give up his or her life
for the country is true love.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
The Peaceful Family Is the
Building Block of Heaven
(Page 211)
Many Western people live truly
lonely lives.
Their children leave home
once they turn eighteen, and
the parents
may only get to see their faces
at Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Many children
never visit their parents just to
find out how they are doing.
Once people marry,
they live with their spouse,
independent from their family,
until their parents become so old
they can no longer
take care of themselves.
At that point,
they move their parents into
a nursing home.
So it is understandable
that some Westerners envy
the culture of the East.
Many elderly people in the West
think, "In the East, the grandparents
live with the family
as the senior members of the family,
and it is really wonderful.
The children respect their old parents.
This is how people are supposed to live.
What good is it
to be lying in a nursing home,
not able to see my children,
not even knowing what day it is,
just staying alive?"
Unfortunately, though,
the Eastern family structure
is also gradually deteriorating.
We too are abandoning traditions
that have been handed down to us
for thousands of years. We have
thrown away our traditional clothing,
our food, and our family structure.
The number of senior citizens
living alone in Korea is on the rise.
(Page 212)
Each time I see stories in the news
of senior citizens alone,
it makes me sad.
The family is where generations
live together.
If family members are scattered
and the parents are left alone,
then that is no longer a family.
The extended family system
is a beautiful Korean tradition.
I recommend that three generations
live together a one family.
This is not simply because it is a way of
maintaining our country's tradition.
When a husband and wife have a child,
they pass on all they can to that child.
There is a limit, however, to how much
the parents can pass on.
The parents represent the present
and the children the future.
The grandparents represent the past.
So it is only when the grandparents,
parents and children live together
that the children can inherit
all the fortune of the past and present.
To love and respect your grandfather
is to inherit the history of the past
and to learn
from the world of the past.
The children learn precious wisdom
from their parents
on how to live in the present,
while the parents prepare
for the future
by loving their children.
The grandparents
are in a position to represent God.
No matter how intelligent
a young man may be, he cannot
know all the secrets of this world.
Young people cannot know
all the different secrets of life
that come to us as we grow older.
This is the reason the grandfather
represents the history of the family.
The grandfather
is a precious teacher who passes on
to the grandchildren
all the wisdom he has acquired
through the experiences he has
accumulated during the course
of his life.
The world's oldest grandfather
is God.
So a life of receiving
the grandfather's love and of
living for the sake of the grandfather
is a life of coming to understand
God's love and of living for His sake.
We need to maintain such a tradition
in order to open the secret storehouse
of God's Kingdom
and receive His treasure of love.
(Page 213)
Any country
that ignores its old people
abandons its national character and
ignores its roots.
When autumn comes, the chestnut tree
gradually loses its moisture,
and its leaves begin to fall.
The outer shell of the chestnut falls off,
and even the inner shell
that surrounds the actual nut dries up.
This is the cycle of life.
Human beings are the same way.
We are born as infants,
grow up on the love of our parents,
meet a wonderful partner,
and get married.
All this occurs in the chain of life
made up of love.
In the end, we become like chestnuts
becoming dry in the autumn.
Old people are not a separate category
of people. We all become old.
We must not treat old people
disrespectfully, no matter
how senile they may become.
There is a saying,
"Anything can be accomplished
when there is harmony in the home."
When there is peace in the family,
everything goes well.
The peaceful family is the
building block
of the Kingdom of Heaven.
The family
operates on the power of love.
If we love the universe
as we love our families, then
there is nothing to stop us from
going anywhere we want.
God exists in the center of love,
as the Parent of the entire universe.
That is why the love in the family
needs to link directly to God.
When the family is completed in love,
the universe will be completed.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
Ten Years of Tears Melt a
Father-in-Law's Heart
(Page 214)
Not long ago the Korean media
carried a story about a Japanese woman
living in Milyang, Korea,
who received an award
for her filial service to her family.
The article said that the woman
had come to Korea as the wife
of a Korean man who had met her
through an introduction
by a certain religious group
and married her despite opposition
from his family.
The Japanese wife had cared for
her Korean mother-in-law,
who had difficulty moving around,
and her aged father-in-law
with great devotion.
The people in the community then
recommended her to be recognized
for her filial actions, the article said.
The mother-in-law was paralized
from the waist down and classified by
the Korean public health authorities
as being in the second-highest level
of physical handicap.
From the first day of her marriage,
the daughter-in-law carried
her mother-in-law on her back
to different hospitals
so she could be treated.
Because she spent so much time
devoting herself to her parents-in-law,
she rarely had time to visit
her own family in Japan.
When she heard that she was going to
be awarded for her actions,
she protested, saying
she was merely doing what was right.
(Page 215)
This Japanese daughter-in-law
in the news is Kazuko Yashima.
She came to Korea
through the international and
intercultural marriages of our church.
These are marriages where
men and women are matched across
religious, national or racial differences.
There are many young men
in Korea's rural areas
who cannot find brides. The brides who
come to Korea in these international
and intercultural marriages
do so unconditionally.
They care for their aged parent-in-law,
inspire their husbands
to have strength and hope, and bear
and raise children.
They go to live in the rural communities
that Koreans have left behind
because it is so difficult to live there.
What a wonderful
and precious thing they are doing!
This program has been going on
for more than thirty years.
Thousands of women
from other countries have settled
in Korea through such international
and intercultural marriages.
In rural Korean communities where
the young people have left for the cities
and the sound of a baby's cry
has not been heard for a long time,
the old people are overjoyed to see
the birth of babies to these couples,
and they treat the babies as if
they were their own grandchildren.
In one elementary school
in Choongcheong Province,
more than half the eighty students
are children of the international and
intercultural marriages
arranged by our church.
The school's principal has said
the school will have to close if
its student body declines any further,
and so he prays daily
that our church members will not
move away from the community.
In Korea today, some twenty thousand
children of international and
intercultural marriages are enrolled in
elementary schools around the country.
(Page 216)
Every year around the anniversary
of Korea's independence from Japan,
television new programs carry stories
about some very special Japanese who
stand before the camera and apologize
for the actions of their country in Korea
during the period of occupation.
They themselves
did not commit those crimes, but
they apologize for the actions
of their ancestors.
Most of these people
are members of our church
who have torn down the walls
separating nations
by means of interntaional and
intercultural marriages.
Because of their actions,
the walls in the hearts of Koreans who
think of the Japanese as our enemies
are increasingly crumbling.
In 1988,
a young and well-educated man
who had joined our church
wanted to get married
and sought to be matched. He was
matched to a Japanese woman.
The father of this young man
reacted very negatively to the match.
"Of all the women in the world, you
have to marry a Japanese?" he said.
During the Japanese occupation,
the father had been
one of the Koreans conscripted into
forced labor and taken to a coal mine in
Iwate Prefecture in northeastern Japan.
He risked his life to escape the mine
and walked for well over a month
to Shimonoseki, where he was able
to board a ship back to Korea.
He harbored
a tremendous hatred for Japan.
On hearing the news of his son's match
to a Japanese woman,
he threatened to disown him.
"You betray the family," he said.
"I will have your name
taken out of the family register.
No woman from that enemy country
will ever set foot in this house,
so take her and go away.
She is not right for you,
so I don't care whether you go
or whether you die."
The family was adamant.
The young man, however, went ahead
aand did what he felt was right.
He married the Japanese woman
and took his bride to his hometown
in Nagan, Korea.
(Page 217)
The father would not even open
the front gate for them. Sometime later,
he reluctantly accepted her marriage,
but his persecution
of his daughter-in-law continued.
Every time she seemed to have difficulty
with something, he would say,
"That's nothing compared
to what your people did to me.
You should have expected as much
when you
decided to marry into our family."
Every time the relatives
would gather for a major holiday,
the father-in-law would have her
sit near him, and he would tell her
all the things that were done to him
in the Iwate coal mine.
Each time the daughter-in-law
would respond by saying, "Father,
I apologize to you on behalf of Japan.
I am sorry." She would shed tears
and ask his forgiveness.
For as long
as he would vent his anger at her,
she would listen to him tell
the same stories over and over
until he was finished,
and she would continue to apologize.
The went on for about ten years,
and then it stopped.
Relatives noticed that his cold attitude
toward his daughter-in-law
had become much warmer and that
he even seemed to like her. So
they asked him, "Why are you behaving
so kindly toward your daughter-in-law?
She's a Japanese woman.
Don't you still hate her?"
"I don't hate her anymore." he said.
"All the hatred that had accumulated
in my heart has gone away.
"I never really hated her," he added.
"I was just venting on her all the hatred
that was in me for having been
conscripted to work in the mine.
Because of her,
the hatred has all disappeared.
From now on,
I'm going to be kind to her, because
she's my real daughter-in-law."
The daughter-in-law
paid for the sins of the Japanese.
This in an example of
the path of redemption that will lead
humankind into a world of peace.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
The True Meaning
of Marriage
(Page 218)
The international
and intercultural marriages
are the quickest way to bring about
an ideal world of peace.
Things that would take
seemingly forever
can be accomplished like miracles
through these types of marriages
in just two or three generations.
People should marry across national
and cultural boundaries with people
from countries they consider to be
their enemies
so that the world of peace can come
that much more quickly.
A person may hate people from
a certain country or culture and think
he never wants to set eyes on them.
But if someone from that country
becomes his spouse, then
the person is halfway to becoming
a person of the new country.
All the hatred melts away.
If this is repeated
for two or three generations,
the roots of hatred can be eliminated.
White and black people
will marry each other;
Japanese will marry Koreans
and people from Asia.
Many millions are entering into such
international and intercultural
marriages.
A completely new lineage
is being created as a result.
A new kind of human being that
transcends white, black and yellow
is being born.
I am not just referring to marriages
across international boundaries.
The same is true
for marrying people from other
religions and denominations.
(Page 219)
In fact, marriages
between people of different religions
are even more difficult than
international marriages.
Even if two religious groups have
been fighting each other for centuries,
it is possible to bring
harmony between them by having
their followers marry each other.
In such a marriage, one spouse will
not close himself off from the other
just because he or she
was raised in a different tradition.
It is most important
to teach young people about
the sanctity and value of marriage.
Korea today has one of the
lowest birthrates in the world.
Not to have children is dangerous.
There is no future for a country
that has no descendants.
I teach young people that
they should remain sexually pure
during their youth,
receive the marriage Blessing and
then have at least three children.
Children are blessings
given to us by God.
When we bear children and
raise them, we are raising citizens
of the Kingdom of Heaven.
That is why it is a great sin
to live immorally and to abort babies
conceived in this lifestyle.
We marry not for ourselves
but for the sake of our partners.
When looking for a spouse, it is wrong
to look only for a beautiful person
or for a person living well.
Human beings must live for the sake
of each other.
We should apply this principle
to marriage, too. No matter how
uneducated or homely
your prospective spouse may be,
you should marry with a heart
that you will love him or her
even more than if the spouse were
educated and beautiful.
God's love is the most precious
of all blessings.
In marriage, we receive
that blessing of love and put it
into practice in our own lives.
We must understand
this precious meaning of marriage,
conduct our lives in marriage
in the context of true love,
and bring about true families.
From this perspective, world peace is
not such a huge undertaking.
It starts with peaceful families
who create peaceful societies and
eliminate conflict among countries.
This will lead to world peace.
(Page 220)
This example shows the importance
of families that are intact
and the immense responsibility
such families must bear.
The thinking that says
"It's enough that I live well and that
my family lives well"
is completely alien to me.
Marriage is not something that
involves just the bride and groom.
Marriage creates a relationship
between two families,
and it brings reconciliation
between clans and countries.
Each accepts
the other's different culture and
overcomes the resentment and
hatred built up through history.
When a Korean and Japanese marry,
it contributes to reconciliation
between the two countries;
when a white person
and a black person marry,
it contributes to reconcilation
between the two races.
They represent a new beginning
for humanity
that transcends the races.
When this continues
for a few generations,
division and hostility among
nations, races and religions
will disappear, and
humankind will become one family
living in a world of peace.
In recent years, more and more
Koreans are marrying foreigners, and
we see more families with people from
different nationalities and religions.
Koreans have even
coined a phrase for it that means
multicultural families.
It is not easy
for a man and woman who have
been raised in different cultures
to create a family and
live with love for each other.
Particularly in Korea,
which traditionally has had
a homogeneous culture,
the partners in such marriage
need to make extra effort to
understand and care for each other.
The reason our members
who enter into international and
intercultural marriages succeed is
because they live together
centering on God.
Various social welfare groups in Korea
try to encourage the success of
multicultural families
by offering program that teach
Korean language and culture.
(Page 221)
Such efforts will be useless, however,
unless our concept of marriage changes.
Whoever thinks,
"Why did I marry this man?
If I hadn't married this man,
I would have had a better life,"
is setting the tone for a marriage
that will be hell.
Coming to a correct understanding
of marriage is more important than
learning Korean language and culture.
Marriage is not a simple matter of
a man and a woman
of marriageable age coming together
and combining their two lives.
Marriage is something built
on the basis of sacrifice.
The man must live for the sake of
the woman and the woman
for the sake of the man.
As you continue to live for the sake
of your spouse, your selfish mind
dsappears completely.
The heart that seeks to sacrifice
this way is the heart of love.
Love is offering up your life.
If you marry you must do so
on the basis of your determination
that your life is for your spouse.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
True Love Is Found
in True Families
(Page 222)
No matter how much a man and
a woman may love each other,
a complete and happy family
must have parents
who act as a protective shield
around the home, and
there must be at least one child
for the parents to love.
When a family is protected,
it become a meeting place
for happiness.The
Even a person
with great success in society
will have an unhappy family
if this protection collapses.
The bais of love is the heart
that sacrifices everything
for the sake of the other.
The reason parental love
is true love,
is that parents are willing to give
everything to their children, and
when they have given everything,
the want to give even more.
Parents who love thier children
do not remember
what they have given.
No parent would keep track
of all the shoes and clothes
he bought for his child and say,
"This is how much I spent on you."
Instead, a parent gives
everything he has and says,
"I wish I could do more for you
than I have, and
I'm sorry that I cannot.
As a child,
I would follow my father around
as he tended to his bee colonies,
and I saw how the bees behaved.
When a bee
flying around a flower garden
caught the fragrance of a flower,
it would place its legs firmly
on the flower.
It would then stick its nose
deep into the flower, so that
its rear end was pointing upward
while it sucked up the nectar.
(Page 223)
If you grabbed the bee on its rear,
it would not let go of the flower.
It risks its life
to keep its hold on the flower.
The love of
parents cultivating a family is like
the honeybee attached to the flower.
Even if
a parent should lose his own life,
he would never let go of
the bond of love
that ties him to his child.
Parents wil lay down their lives
for the sake of their child and then
forget that they had done so.
This is the true love of parents.
No matter how far or dangerous
the path may be,
the parent will gladly travel it.
Parental love is the greatest love
in the world.
A person can live
in a wonderful house and
eat exotic foods from
the mountains and the oceans,
but if he has no parents,
there will be a large void
in his heart.
A person who has grown up
without receiving parental love
has a lonliness and emptiness
in his heart that cannot be filled
with anything else.
The family is the place where we
receive true love
and learn true love.
Children who do not receive
true love when they are young
live their entire lives
hungering for love and suffer
emotional pain.
Not only that, they don't have the
opporutnity to learn
the lofty moral duties that they must
fulfill for the family and society.
True love is a value
that cannot be learned any place
other than in the family.
A true family is a place where
a husband and wife
each love the other and live for
the sake of the other,
as if the spouse were his or her
mother, father, or sibling.
It is a place where the husband
loves his wife as he loves God,
and the wife respects her husband
as she respects God.
We cannot forsake our siblings
no matter the difficulties we face.
Neither can we forsake
our mothers.
So the term divorce
cannot even exist.
The husband is in the place of
the father and older brother
to the wife.
Just as a wife could never
forsake her father or older brother,
she can never forsake her husband.
(Page 224)
In the same way,
a husband could never
forsake his wife.
A true family is a place where
each spouse lives
with acknowledgment of the
absolute value of the partner.
It doesn't matter if
a husband and wife come from
different races or cultures.
If they have formed a family
after having received God's love
then there can be no conflicts
of culture among the children
born into this family.
These children will love and
value the culture and tradtion
of their mother's country and
father's country with the same
love they have for each parent.
Resolving conflicts
in multicultural families
is not a matter of providing them
with particular knowledge.
Instead, it is a matter
of the parents of these families
raising their children in true love.
The parents' love soaks its way into
the flesh and bone of the children
and becomes the fertilizer
that enables the children to accept
their mother's country and
father's country as one and become
wonderful citizens of the world.
The family is the school where love
for humanity is taught & learned.
When children who are raised
in the warm love of their parents
go out into the world, they will
care for people in difficulty
in the manner they learned
in their home.
People raised in loving relationship
with their own brothers and sisters
will go into society
and share their caring hearts
with their neighbors.
People raised in love will look upon
each person they meet in the world
as a member of their own family.
The starting point toward
a true family is the heart of love
that treats strangers as family
and shares with them.
Another reason
the family is important is that
it expands to become the world.
A true family is the basis for
forming a true society, true nation
and true world.
It is the starting point toward
a world of peace that is
God's Kingdom.
(Page 225)
Parents will work for their children
until their bones melt away.
They are not working just to
feed their own children, however.
A person whose heart
overflows with love is capable
of working for the sake of
others & God.
The family is where we receive
so much love that it overflows
from our hearts.
The family protects its members
in its embrace,
but its function is not
to prevent love from getting out.
In fact, the love in the family
should overflow
into the surrounding community.
No matter how much love
may overflow, the love in the family
will never go dry.
This is because it is received
from God.
The love we receive from God
is such that
we can continue to dig it out
but never see the bottom.
In fact, the more we dig, the more
love wells up like pure spring water.
Anyone who has been raised
in this love can lead a true life.
(CHAPTER FIVE)
Leaving Behind
a Legacy of Love
(Page 226)
A true life is a life in which
we abandon our private desires
and live for the public good.
This is a truth taught by
all major religious leaders
past and present, East and West,
whether it be Jesus, Buddha or
Profit Mohammed.
It is a truth that is
so widely known, that sadly,
it seems to have been devalued.
The passage of time or changes
in the world cannot diminish
the value of this truth.
This is because the essence
of human life never changes,
even in times of rapid change
all around the world.
The teacher with whom
we have the closest relationship
is our heart.
Our heart is more precious to us
than our closest friends and
even more precious than
our parents.
So, as we live our lives, we need
periodically to ask our hearts,
"Am I living a good life now?"
Anyone can hear
his heart speaking to him.
If he comes to the realizaton
that his heart is his master,
he "polishes" his heart and
maintains a close relationship
with his heart
throughout his life.
If a person hears the sound
of his heart tearfully sobbing,
then he needs to stop immediately
whatever he is doing. Anything
that makes the heart suffer
will ruin him. Anything
that makes the heart sad
will eventually make the person
fall into sadness.
(Page 227)
For a person to polish his heart
to the point that it becomes
as clear as chrystal,
he absolutely must spend time
in direct conversation
with his heart
in an environment where
he is away from the world
and alone with his heart.
It will be
a time of intense loneliness,
but the moment that
we become close to our hearts
is the time
of prayer and meditation.
It is a time
when we can take ownership
over our hearts.
When we isolate ourselves
from the noise around us
and allow our thoughts to settle,
we can see into the
deepest parts of our hearts.
It will take a lot of time and effort
to go all the way down
to where the heart has settled.
It will not happen in a day.
Just as love is not for
our own sake,
so happiness and peace
are not for ourselves.
Just as love cannot exist
without a partner,
happiness and peace cannot
exist without a partner.
All these can exist only in
the context of a relationship
with a partner.
Nothing can be accomplished
if we live alone.
We cannot be happy alone
or speak of peace alone.
Since a partner
is what enables us to have
happiness and peace,
the partner is more important
than we are.
Think about a mother
carrying a baby on her back,
sitting at an entrance
to the subway in Seoul,
selling homemade snacks
to the people passing by.
To be at that spot in time
for the morning rush hour,
she will have to spend the whole
night preparing the snack and
then put her fussing child
on her back
to come to the station.
People passing by might say,
"Oh, you could get along well
if only you didn't have that child
to care for," but
it is for the sake of the child
that the mother lives her life.
Today people can expect to live
about eighty years. Eighty years
of joy, anger, sorrow, happiness,
and all the other emotions
mixed together
may seem like a long time.
But if we take away
the private time a person spends
sleeping, working and eating, and
then the time we spend
talking, laughing, and having fun
with family members and friends,
attending wedding and funerals,
and time spent lying sick in bed,
only about seven years will remain.
A person may live eighty years
but spend only about seven years
living for the public good.
(Page 228)
Life is like a rubber band.
The same seven years,
given to two different people,
can either be spent
as seven years or as seventy.
Time by itself, is empty.
We need to put things in it.
The same is true about
a person's life. Everyone
wants to live his life with
a comfortable place to sleep
and good things to eat.
Eating and sleeping, however,
are simply
ways of letting time slip by.
In the moment that a person
has lived out his life and
his body is laid to rest
in the ground,
all wealth and glory become
nothing more than a bubble
and disappear at once.
Only the seven years that he
lived for the public good
will remain and be remembered
by posterity.
Those seven years are all
that is left in the world of a life
that lasted eighty years.
We do not
come into this world, or depart
from it, of our own accord.
We have no ability
to make choices with regard
to our fate.
We are born, though
we did not choose to be born.
We live, though we did not
choose to live .
We die, though we do not
choose to die.
We have no authority over
these aspects of our lives, so
how can we boast that we are
somehow better than others?
We cannot
be born by our own wish,
possesss things
that will forever be our own,
or avoid death.
So any boasting on our part
would only be pathetic.
Even if we rise to
a poisition higher than others,
the honor is ony temporary.
Even if we gather
more possessions than others,
we must leave them all behind
at the gates of death.
Money, honor, and knowledge
all flow away from us in time,
and all disappear
with the passing years.
No matter how noble and great
a person might be,
hi is nothing
more than a pittiable life
that will end the moment he
loses hold of his lifeline.
(Page 229)
Human beings
have always struggled
to understand who we are and
why we must live.
We must realize that just as we
were not born of our own accord,
we are not meant to live our lives
for our own sakes.
So the answer to the question
of how we should live our lives
is simple.
We were born of love,
so we must live by traveling
the path of love.
Our lives were created by receiving
the boundless love of our parents,
so we must live our entire lives
repaying that love.
In the course of our lives, this is
the only value we can choose
on our own.
The success or failure of our lives
depends on how much love
we pack into those eighty years
that are given to us.
At some point, everyone will
shed his physical body
like old clothing and die.
In Korean, "to return" is
a common expression for dying.
To return means to go back
to where we came from,
that is, to go back to
our fundamental roots.
Everything in the universe
moves in cycles.
The white snow
that collects on the mountains
will melt and flow down the slopes,
first forming streams
and then a river, and eventually
go into the ocean.
The water that flows into the ocean
will absorb the heat of the sun's rays,
become vapor water, go back up
into the sky, and prepare to become
either snowflakes or drops of rain.
To return to our original place
in this way is what we call death.
Then, where do we human beings
return to when we die?
Body and heart come together
to bring about human life,
and death is the act
of shedding the body.
So we go to the place
from which the heart came.
We cannot talk about life
without also talking about death.
We must accurately understand
what death is, even if we do so only
to understand the purpose of life.
The type of life that has true value
can be understood only
by the person who finds himself
in a difficult situation
when death appears imminent
and he cries out to Heaven
in desperation,
pleading to be allowed to live
even just one more day.
(Page 230)
If our days are as precious as this,
how should we live them?
What are the things we must
accomplish before we cross
over the boundary line of death?
The most important is not to
commit sin and lead a life that is
without shadows.
There is much religious and
philosophical debate
over what contitute sin, but
what is clear is that we shoud not
engage in acts
that prick our conscience.
When we do things that give us
a guilty conscience, it always
leaves a shadow in our heart.
The next most important thing
is to resolve to do significantly
more work than others have done.
All of our lives are limited,
whether that limit is sixty years,
seventy years, or some other
time period. Depending on
how we use that time,
we can lead a life
that is two or three times
more abundant than others.
If you cut your time into segments
and then live each segment
in a meaningful way,
your life will be truly precious.
Live with an attitude of devotion
and diligence, telling yourself,
for example, that you will plant
two or three trees in the time
it takes others to plant one.
Do not live for yourself.
You must live not for yourself
but for others; for your neighbors
more than for your family;
for the world more than for
your own country.
All sin in the world comes about
when the individual is put first.
Individual desires and ambitions
harm a person's neighbors
and ruin the society at large.
Everything in the world will
eventually pass.
The parents we love,
the husband or wife we love,
and the children we love
will all pass away.
All that remains with us
at the end of our lives is death.
When a person dies,
only his legacy remains.
Please consider for a moment
what you can do to show that
you lived a life of value.
(Page 231)
The possessions
and social position you have
accumulated during your life
will pass away from you.
Once you cross the river of death,
such things will have no meaning.
Because we were born in love
and lived our lives in love,
love is also the only thing
that remains with us
when we are in our graves.
We receive our lives to love,
live by sharing love, and
return into the midst of love.
It is important that
we live in a way that we can
leave a legacy of love behind us.
(END OF CHAPTER FIVE)