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St. Augustine's Confessions from the Spiritual
World [Part 1]
Channeled by Young Soon Kim (The
Reporter)
August 2000
Part One
Preface 1
June 10, 2000
St. Augustine,
from Heaven
I am St.
Augustine. I would like to write this Preface today
in order to communicate my confession to many people on earth and especially
to people of faith. Thanks to the prayers of my mother, Monica, I was able to
live with God while on earth, and here in the spiritual world, I have
received the amazing divine grace of encountering the new truth and living
with God in a place of joy. Now, in order to repay this grace, I am writing
this piece. Perhaps this writing will provoke many doubts and much curiosity
in you. As you know, I am no more living on earth, and with the help of one
woman, I would like to convey to you the reality of the spiritual world. I,
Augustine, have changed myself completely in the spiritual world after
awakening to the Unification Principle. My conversion required many struggles
and prayers, but you have the benefit of the age, by which you can resolve
this issue of faith while on earth. The Unification Principle is an eternal
gospel for the sake of the peace of humanity, brought to light through many
sufferings and difficult trials. We have a great elder with us who throughout
his life has willingly walked a torturous thorny path for the sake of the
everlasting peace of humanity. Please pray to discover who that person is.
Here in the spiritual world, I have seen him clearly, working in the human
form while surrounded by brilliant light.
People of faith! The Messiah who is to
come is none other than Rev. Moon, the True Parents of heaven and earth. Find
out how he has lived eighty years of his life and what providential task he
is moving forward at present, and you will witness a life that has been
struggling the whole time for the sake of the liberation of God and humanity.
If you live your earthly life with exclusive concern for your earthly
well-being, you will lose your home in the world of eternity. You should not
waste the precious opportunity you now have. All of you will eventually find
yourselves here in the spiritual world without exception. But not just anyone
can come to the eternal home here, only those who have made preparation
during their life on earth.
Please read my Confessions from the
Spiritual World carefully and to the end, and study the Unification
Principle. Tear down the walls of the heart and the walls of religion and
prepare for your life in eternity. I, Augustine, think that this is the
wisest life you can live. I transmit this message with a sincere heart. I
hope that all of you can come here and meet God with joy.
Preface 2
Young Soon Kim
The reporter
June 20, 2000
My mother was a Presbyterian, She started
going to church with her mother, and lived her whole life in prayer. From my
childhood to my maturity, and even when I was working as a school teacher, my
mother guided my faith, sometimes singing a hymn that goes, "My soul is
withered like a dry grass in the wilderness," and I followed her
guidance in meek obedience. I think that this sewed as a basis upon which God
could come to me. Upon my mother's religious conversion, however, my faith
underwent a great change. While going to the Presbyterian Church, she
desperately prayed to see God, and during such a prayer she experienced
Jesus, who came with a pillar of fire, and through this experience she joined
the Unification
Church, which was being
persecuted as heretic, and received the Blessing of marriage. She also led me
to join this church and receive Blessing. Supporting my husband, who chose the
path of ministry, I strove to keep to the straight way of faith. One day,
God's voice came to me during a prayer: God wanted to put me into a burning
furnace to melt away my old self and remold me in the form of His daughter.
Many people who pursue religious faith hear "God's voice," and yet
my case is quite different from other people's experiences in that the voice
I hear is concrete and directly from God. During the three-year witnessing
period after my Blessing in 1968, I was preparing a special workshop. I was
very tired and so lay on the bed to rest for a while, at which time a big
hand suddenly appeared in vision. Turning music sheets one by one, that hand
and told me to write down the message. I took down some of the message, but
afterwards, without understanding its significance, I did not pay much
attention to it. After a while, however, when our couple were asleep, a voice
came like a thunder and said, "You faithless child," which greatly
surprised us to wake up on our knees. The voice from heaven then shouted,
"Write down the new songs." For forty days from then, I took down
about a hundred songs, working day and night in tears and in exhaustion.
Thereafter, God told me many new things. Since many of these divine messages
were abstruse and susceptible to misunderstanding by people, I agonized
intensely over whether I should publicly reveal them. The hundred children's
songs I had received from God were published only in 1992 under the title
Yaho God, and the heaven's messages in December 1996 under the title God, Who
Came to Me.
As I remember, it was in April 1997 that I
started reporting correspondences from the spiritual world on a full scale.
That is when Dr. Lee, who was a director of the Unification Thought Institute
and had a close personal relationship with me, suddenly passed on to the
spiritual world. I was participating in his funeral ceremony, when he
appeared to me in spirit and said, "I will visit you at home
tonight." From that time on, he appeared to me at regular times and
conveyed what he had personally seen and felt in the spiritual world. As he
had had burning curiosity about the spiritual world while on earth, in the
spiritual world he met many historic and providential figures and had many
different conversations. He met about thirty figures including such saints
religious giants as Jesus, Confucius, Sakyamuni Buddha, Mohammed, Socrates,
Swedenborg, and Sunda Sing; such providential figures in the Bible as Adam,
Eve, Abraham, Isaac, Judas Iscariot, and
John the Baptist; and Karl Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Dojo,
Kishi, Eisenhower, Rhee Shing Man, Park Jung Hee, Kim Hwal Lan, and Maria
Park. The contents of Dr. Lee's conversation with them have been published in
the book The Reality of the Spiritual World and Our Life on Earth.
The present book, St.
Augustine's Confessions from the Spiritual World, contains an
account of St. Augustine,
who is one of the most prominent Christian theologians and has met with Dr.
Lee. What is revealed in this volume will surely be shocking to the
Protestants and Catholics, and I deeply anguished over whether to expose to
the public such a controversial content. I believe, however, that this
message will find its way to conscientious people of faith in accordance with
God's Will. The Holy Spirit of God, which irresistibly and infinitely
overwhelms us, and the power of the new truth, which presses on towards us
from the spiritual world, transcend human reason and judgment. The most
essential of what God has said to me when he came to me are: First, help
people know about the living God; second, help people know about the
spiritual world; and third, help people understand the law of indemnity, by
which when we sin, we are punished and judged.
The God whom I know loves the world, and
after the creation of human beings, He is present in history and carrying out
the tearful providence, sometimes in glow and sometimes in tribulation, in
order to restore the fallen people to the original state. I sincerely wish
that just as St. Augustine
became the most ardent lover and most faithful instrument of God through his
mother Monica's tearful prayer and love, so will all the readers of this book
realize God's boundless love towards us and live a great life on earth.
Here, I would like to introduce Dr. Sang
Hun Lee, who sewed as a bridge to channel the messages for the present
volume, and President Eu, who systematized and wrote the Divine Principle.
Dr. Lee was born in September 5, 1914 in Hwadong-lee Shinsang-myeon
Jeongpyeon-gun, Hamgyeongnam-do as the third son of a Confucian scholar Soo
Young Lee, and joined the Unification
Church in 1956 and
received the thirty-six couple's Blessing from Rev. Moon. He systematized and
wrote the Unification Thought and VOC (Victory over Communism) Theory out of
the teaching of Rev. Moon. He passed away at the age of eightyfour, while he
was preparing for the ninth International Symposium on the Unification
Thought as a professor of the Sun
Moon University.
Dr. Lee's father, an ardent patriot who had once been in prison for joining
the 3.1 Independence
Movement, gave Dr. Lee a nationalist spirit and education from his childhood.
When Dr. Lee was a high school student, out of his burning opposition against
Japan,
he participated in a nationalist movement led by communists, which led him to
prison and severe tortures by the Japanese police. After graduating from Do
Seong High School, he entered the Severance
Medical School.
Meantime, he started having doubts about communist materialism and thinking
seriously about what true love for the nation and humanity is. Such
philosophical wondering led him to inquire about religion and eventually join
the Unification
Church. After
graduating from the Severance Medical School and before joining the church,
he single minded walked the course of the medical doctor, for instance,
working at the Severance Medical School Hospital, Won San Salvation Army
Hospital, Young Dong Salvation Army Hospital, Young Dong State Hospital of
Chungbuk, and Korea Police Hospital, and opening the Gae Jeong Central Hospital
and Yee Seong Clinic of Internal Medicine.
Dr. Lee marveled whenever he found a great
insight from Rev. Moon's speech, and he was able to ask Rev. Moon
philosophical questions and receive much personal teaching from him; finally,
his such efforts culminated in the systematization of the Unification Thought
and VOC Theory. For many professors and leaders of various fields, home and
abroad, he led seminars on the Unification Thought up to the forty-third
session, seminars on the VOC Theory up to the seventh session, and about five
hundred scholarly lectures, thereby leading a movement for new spirit and
value. On the other hand, as an honorary chair of the Unification Thought
section of the ICUS (International Conference on the Unity of Science), he exerted
his utmost in establishing the present academic knowledge on the foundation
of the Unification Thought.
Next, I would like to turn to the late
President Eu. He was one of the three couples who were eldest of all members
and Blessed first by Rev. Moon. His character was compassionate, and his life
exemplary. He was born on September 25, 1914 as the second son of Jeong Han
Eu, the father, and Shin Shil Lee, the mother. In April 1933, he graduated
from the Osan High
School in Jeongju-gun, Pyeonganbuk-do, and in April 1939,
while he was a student in the medical school of the Kyeong Seong
Imperial University,
he was attacked by a sudden disease and had to quit school. In 1948, he
served the society as an educator by establishing the Yeon
Bok Middle
School in the Yeong
Pyeong Island
and becoming the first president of the school. When the HAS-UWC (Holy Spirit
Association for the Unification of the World Christianity), commonly called
the Unification
Church, was founded on
May 1, 1954, President Eu was one of the founding members. He was appointed
as the first president of the church on October 14, 1960 and served in the
position until July 24, 1970, then he passed away at the age of fifty-seven.
In early November of 1935, President Eu
first encountered Rev. Moon's Divine Principle manuscript. It is said that
after the day of the encounter, he read and hand copied the content numerous
times, unceasingly exclaiming with inspiration and joy. Thereafter, he took
an overall charge of the education of the Unification Church
members and gave lectures for fifteen hours every day despite his crippled
leg. When he started on a Divine Principle discussion, he would be totally
involved in it without remembering meal or sleeping times and would never end
the discussion and explanation until he made sure that the conversing parties
understood the points at issue. He always maintained a heavy and tense
schedule, giving consultation to church members, taking care of
administrative affairs, and systematizing and compiling the Explanation of
the Divine Principle. In this intense situation, the first edition of the
Explanation was published. A few years after this, the Divine Principle came
out, which can be regarded as the most remarkable of his life's work under
the guidance of Rev. Moon. We cannot neglect the merits of the two elders in
systematizing and writing the Unification Principle and Unification Thought.
I have introduced the life, thought, and faith of the two elders because I
thought that it may help you understand the messages of St. Augustine. I pray for your victory
under God's protection.
Foreword
June 10, 2000
Sang Hun Lee, from heaven
I am Sang Hun Lee. While on earth, I used
to serve as a doctor for some time. Now, in the spiritual world, I have been
appointed as an ambassador of the spiritual world and am staying in the
spiritual world. I would like to introduce St. Augustine, with whom I have associated
for over three months. St. Augustine
was an ambitious person, who refused to be second to anyone in his pride and
zeal for God and in all other matters concerning God. Such an ambitious
person, however, had to receive the Unification Principle from a Principle
lecturer. He listened to the Principle passionately like someone who had lost
his mind because he found it so systematic and mysterious. When he came to
the last part, on the age-by-age explanation of the Second Advent of the
Messiah, however; he was terribly startled and became at a loss, after which
he did not appear for several days. During this time, he says that he
struggled and prayed like a completely mad man, unlike normal religious
devotees who merely fast and pray.
He was aroused in madness, saying,
"What shall I do? Why did I not receive the benefit of the Messiah in my
age? I believed that if I kept celibate and zealously served God, I would
receive the Messiah in my age; however, I have turned out to have nothing to
do with the age of His return. So what is going on?" No advice or
consolation worked for him.
He yelled over, kicked and screamed, and beat
his chest, expressing his bitterness and sense of unfairness. Eventually,
however, he did not let go of his attitude of faith and stood up again
victoriously, humble, solemn, and haggard. He asked for an opportunity to
work for the Messiah. It was a moment of passionate encounter, a moment of
intense emotion, and a moment of heartfelt tears.
You, people on earth! Behold the courage
of St. Augustine,
who has converted himself by tearing off his face and hair. Demolish the
stubborn walls of faith that lay behind the age. There is only one Messiah
and only one God, and so I hope to see you in one place in one heart.
Table of Contents
Preface
Foreword
The Life, Faith, and Thought of St. Augustine
Part I. St. Augustine's Confessions from the Spiritual World
1. St.
Augustine's Life on Earth
(1) Childhood
(2) Youth
(3) Middle Age
2. St.
Augustine's Life in the Spiritual World
(1) Entering the Spiritual
World
(2) St. Augustine's Place in the Spiritual
World
3. God as Discovered by St. Augustine
(1) An Experience of God
(2) Where God Stays
(3) God's Love
4. People St. Augustine Has Met in the Spiritual World
(1) Protestant Ministers
(2) Catholic Priests and
Nuns
(3) Sakyamuni Buddha
(4) Confucius
(5) People without
Religious Faith
5. St.
Augustine's Conversion in the Spiritual World
(1) The Unification
Principle
(2) Unification Thought
(3) Blessing Ceremony in
the Spiritual World
(4) Rev.Moon as Discovered
by St. Augustine
(5) The Unification Realm
of the Spiritual World
6. The Direction and Purpose of Our Lives
(1) The Original Form of
the Human Being
(2) The Form of the Human
Being to Be Restored
7. The Final Destination of Human Beings
(1) Life on Earth
(2) Everlasting Life in
the Spiritual World
Part II Correspondence between St. Augustine and Lady
Hyun Shil Rang after Their Blessing
1. St.
Augustine's Greetings
(1) To the True Parents
(2) To Lady Hyun Shil Kang
2. Lady Kang's Inquiries and St. Augustine's Replies
through Correspondence
(1) To what degree do you
love and believe in God and True Parents ...?
(2) What is the authority
and stature of Father in the spiritual world ...?
(3) How deeply do you
understand the value of the True Parents' Blessing...?
(4) Many Christians on
earth adore and respect you ...?
(5) The good and truthful
guidance you gave ...?
(6) Our True Parents
desire that you return to earth ...?
(7) If our True Parents
are the Parents of Heaven and Earth ...?
(8) You should help turn
Christianity on earth ...?
(9) Now, a very urgent
time has come ...?
(10) On earth, you walked
a road of tribulation ...?
(11) I have many defects
in many aspects ...?
(12) I hope that you
receive Dr. Lee's guidance ...?
(13) Especially, I beseech
you to ...?
(14) You left many
writings on earth ...?
The Life, Faith, and Thought of St. Augustine
Editor's note: This
account of St. Augustine is based on his book Confessions (translated by Paul
M. Bethel, published by Moody Press), as well as on Gidokkyo Sajeon
(Dictionary of Christianity, published by Gidokkyo Munhurasa) and Segye
Cheolhak Daejeon (Great Dictionary of World Philosophy, published by
Seonggyun Seogurm)
St. Augustine was born in 354 in Tagaste, Numedia, a region in North Africa that was then under the Roman rule. His
father Patricius, was a pagan, but his mother, Monica, was a devout
Christian. From his childhood, his mother educated him to glorify the name of
the Christ. His mother is one women in the history of Christianity who
receives considerable admiration and respect. Especially, her love and
sincerity towards her son stands out.
Despite such a background, Augustine spent
most of his youth in indulgence and rebellion against God. At the age of
sixteen, he failed to contain his lust and sinned. The name of the woman
involved is not known, but Augustine is supposed to have loved her a great
deal at least for some time. At the age of eighteen he had a son, named
Adeodatus, and in later days people called him "a son of God."
While living in Carthage, he was deeply immersed in
Manichaeism, which combined Christianity and Eastern religions. And he sought
after the road of salvation with keen interest in chastity and continence.
While adhering to Manichaeism, he continued to raise questions about the root
of evil and essence of existence. He fervently waited for Faustus, a hero of
Manichaeism, to appear soon and resolve the issue, but when he did not so, Augustine
abandoned Manichaeism and sought to resolve essential problems of life by
means of human reason.
In Carthage,
Augustine mastered Creek and Roman philosophies as well as rhetoric,
literature, music, and mathematics. With such mastery of knowledge, he strove
to resolve his problems of life, only to find that he was just piling up
questions without attaining answers. While retaining wrong concepts about the
root , essence, and origin of evil, he declared a complete separation from
Manichaeism. In 384, he moved to Milan
and met St. Ambrose, a great bishop and teacher of rhetoric, and through his
persuasive sermon he finally resolved to embrace Christianity. His
understanding of various philosophies including that of Plato sewed to
stimulate his grasp of the gospel. The news of his conversion brought great
joy to his mother, Monica. After witnessing the changed life of St. Augustine, Monica sent Augustine's mistress back to North Africa and guided his life to be devoted only to
the Christ. Finally, God's work started anew for Augustine, but St. Ambrose
still had no confidence about his dedicating his whole life to the Christ.
From that time on, Augustine started to write Confessions, where he says the
following:
My tears could not stop because of the
remorse and pains whirling deep in my soul. My sin was so immensely heavy
that I could never remove it with my own strength.
According to his own account, one day,
when Augustine was sitting with a friend named Alipius he seemed to hear a
voice, like that of a child, repeating, "Take up and read." He
interpreted this as a divine exhortation to open the Scriptures and read the
first passage he happened to see. Accordingly, he opened to Romans 13:13-14,
where he read: "...not in revelry and drunkenness, not in debauchery and
licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus
Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires." At
that time he was thirty-two years old. As his daily life became holier and
his spirit grew, along with his son and friend Alipius, he received baptism
by Bishop Ambrose on Easter Eve. Monica was greatly moved by this, witnessing
her prayers being finally answered.
Monica advised Augustine to return to his
home town and spread the gospel. When Augustine made all the preparations to
return to North Africa together with his mother, son, and a few friends,
according to Monica's advice, and was waiting for the ship to depart from the
Roman port of Ostia, Monica suddenly fell ill and
died. In his Confessions, Augustine gives an elaborate account about the
happenings before his mother's death. Afterwards, when his son, who was his
only hope, died as well in Tagaste, Augustine was filled with ineffable
sorrow and pain. He disposed of what small inheritance he had, formed a
religious gathering, and devoted himself entirely to prayer, Bible studies,
and writing. From then on, Augustine's name began to rise throughout the
entire area of Africa. In early 391, while
he was serving as an assistant bishop to Bishop Valerius in the port city of Hippo, he was asked by
Valerius to succeed his position. At first, he strongly declined the offer,
but finally he accepted it. From then on, his church work began on a full
scale. His Confessions reveals in detail how sincerely he practiced faith
through his ecclesiastic position. While serving as a bishop, he solely
focused on interpreting and teaching the Bible, and his spiritual knowledge
centered on the Bible has had enormous impact through the generations. His
life moved from darkness to light through the Christ. Believing that
salvation is a free gift to human beings from God's grace, he had no
hesitation in spreading this truth. He established a solid doctrine on God's
existence, creation, the reality of evil, and so forth, and this has had a
pivotal influence on the entire world of Christianity.
While Augustine was concentrating on
writing and spreading of the gospel, North Africa was invaded by the pagan
tribe of Vandals, who swept across the entire area, snatching out of the Roman
rule cities including Hippo and Carthage.
Augustine urged all the bishops not to forsake the sheep and strongly
resisted the invaders. Nevertheless, Hippo was completely taken over by the
pagan tribe. Augustine passed away on August 28, 430, at the age of
seventy-six.
By engaging with doctrines and
philosophies threatening the Christian belief at that time, Augustine
established and strengthened an orthodox understanding of the Christian
truth. For instance, against the Manichaean interpretation of the problem of
evil, Augustine defended the goodness of God and the created beings; through
polemic with the Donatists, he organized the ecclesiastic doctrine, code of
the holy ceremony, and doctrine of the providence; and through polemic with
the Pelagians, he developed doctrines on human fall, original sin, and
predestination. St. Augustine's
philosophy became established as the orthodox Catholic theology as Thomas
Acquinas reinterpreted Aristotle in the thirteenth century, and influenced
the entire world of Christianity in the middle ages and kindled crucial
inspirations in religious reformers such as Martin Luther and John Calvin.
Part I. St. Augustine's Confessions from the Spiritual World
1. St.
Augustine's Life on Earth
(1) Childhood
Overall in my childhood, I (St. Augustine) had no
special characteristics by which to stand out. If I differed from ordinary
children, however, it was in that I was strongly influenced by my mother,
Monica, who lived in constant prayer and spiritual sacrifices for her child, and
had the view that everything, from heaven to the smallest creatures,
originates in God.
In my childhood days, my mother prayed
very long prayers, and I had to wait long hours for her prayers to end, and
frequently fell asleep by her side out of unendurable boredom. During her
prayers, I often sneaked out and walked around town, looking for friends and
amusing places, and she had to wander all over town searching for me.
After a while, she began to give me a
strict education about God. She taught me that God is present even in small
stones and grains of sand on the road. When I indulged myself excessively in
comfortable thoughts or fun, she would admonish me in many different ways,
for instance, saying that I had a great deal of things to do for God. She taught
me a number of times that since we human beings are created by God, it would
be a betrayal to forget about His grace. At meals, she consecrated each food
on the table and gave thanks to God, saying to me, "Never forget
gratitude to God, because all these foods are prepared by God." Also in
many other ways, she instilled in me a faith in God. Her life was solely
devoted to serving God, which she took as the entire meaning of her life. Her
attitude of faith was wholly different from that of others. Since I grew up
in such an atmosphere, my urge to run around freely with my friends was
repressed by her faith. When this desire became irresistible, I would often
run away. It was more fun and interesting to go out and play with friends
because we did not have to talk about God. As time went by, I found myself
enjoying a life opposite to the direction of my mother's teaching.
Meanwhile, the question of how to
ascertain the existence of God, who is invisible, came to find a home in my
mind. As my opinion began to tilt towards denying His existence, I had a
strong desire to go the other way. I favored associating and having casual
talks with my friends much more than thinking about my mother's
admonishments. After this whole period, I frequently differed from my
mother's view of God.
Nevertheless, my mother's devotion and
zeal for me never changed or cooled down even a bit, though I continued to
complain strongly against her education, more and more explicitly as days
went by. Finally, I started on a path of indulgence and dissipation.
April 19, 2000
(2) Youth
In general, people are born from their
parents, grow up with their parents' teaching, obey their parents, share love
with their parents, and become married with their parents' blessing. But my
life was quite different from this normal pattern in many ways. How peculiar
it was, that I even wrote the Confessions! From my childhood, ignoring my
mother's tearful pleas for me to serve God, I walked the opposite way;
because God cannot be seen. I always lived with a disobedient attitude to
God, and this must have intensely agonized my parents.
At this time, my parents' admonitions only
stirred up rebellion in my heart, and I only thought about how to escape from
the constraints of faith, and live freely. As days went by, this tendency of
mine became more and more entrenched, and I listened to no one. This way,
with bad friends, I slipped into fornication, which my mother hated most, as
well as into dissipation, indulgence, and even theft. I had neither a resolve
to quit these evil practices nor a desire for, nor an expectation of a new
way beyond this life. As for my studies, I took a passive view towards them,
thinking of them as a means of satisfying my parents' desires and pleas,
rather than any wish of my own that had anything to do with my future, and
thus I did not devote myself to studying. I could not but be content with
this abnormal life, and that was the most miserable aspect of my past life.
Always associating with wayward friends, I prompted them to do more vicious
things, while showing them even more wicked aspects of myself.
I thought that the child I had was a fruit
of my devilish life. Our relationship was far from embodying even ordinary
love between parents and children. I lived at will, without accepting
anyone's interference or subjecting myself to any norm; this was my attitude
and lifestyle at that time. At that time, the people I made most light of
were firstly God, secondly my parents, and thirdly the woman I had; about
them, I did not have even a small bit of worry or interest. In short, I can
say that my youth was a long period of miserable indulgence. How, then, could
such an unforgivable wretch be turned around to become St. Augustine, who is admired by so many
Christians today? What worked to create my present self? Above all, I think
it was my mother's devoted prayer and endurance, and God's endless love.
(3) Middle Age
Most people who have died, in the process
of their birth, growth, and return to God, must have ended their life
ignorant of the fact that the human being is a microcosm and part of God's
body. This is also what happened to me. As I encountered the essence of
religion in my youth, my view of life started to change. From that time,
wholly unlike my teenage years, I developed a great interest in all things
concerning God.
The human being lives as a part of God's
body, and in the universe, from extremely small atoms to the enormously large
heaven, there is nothing that does not belong to God. The human body and
spirit all belong to God, and from small human cells to fine human hairs,
there is none that belongs to human beings themselves. Thus nothing in our
possession is untouched by God's hand. How were human beings created? We know
little about such matters, and yet we have treated and used our body
carelessly in any way we pleased, as if we owned it. If it is true that God
created us, He must know details about each of us. There must be a being who
knows where we came from, through what process we were created, and what the
purpose of our creation is; if this being is God, would He not know all these
things?
If God is the one who planned and created
us, what is the relationship between God and us? We have our physical parents
and also our Creator, God. What is the relationship between parents and
children. and between God and human beings? In my middle age I attempted to
concretely investigate and clearly elucidate this profound matter, and God's
providence. My main concerns at this time included questions such as,
"For what purpose was I born in this world?" "what are God's
ultimate hope and purpose for us?" and "where do we eventually go?
I strove to take responsibility for the doctrines I established, for I did
not want my views to cause confusion to my disciples, successors, or people
of later generations. I tried to write clearly where my past life had been
directed, what I had lived for, and where we come from and go to. I wanted to
do a valuable work as a part of God's body and complete my mission on earth.
I made great efforts to study about God's
hope for us human beings, and about God Himself. I wanted to write in detail
about what our duties toward God are, and why we should live under God's law.
Only in middle age did I come to understand little by little the meaning of
my mother's tearful prayers. My middle age was devoted solely to living with
God and writing clearly and in detail about His existence, His providence,
and our duties before God. Hence, my consistent desire and the motivation of
my life in middle age was to convert a world ignorant of God into a world
where only God is served and worshipped.
April 20, 2000
2. St.
Augustine's Life in the Spiritual World
(1) Entering the Spiritual World
I am glad that from today on I can write
what I truly wanted to write. I do not think there are many who in their
earthly life think, long for, wait for, and prepare for the world beyond
death. Anxiety about the invisible world and fear of death must be common
feelings for people with physical bodies.
In the second half of my life, I lived in
awe of God's mystery and with absolute faith in and hope for God. Because I
had such faith and hope, I met my death comfortably, although I did not
clearly see the world to which we are headed after death.
From now on, I would like to convey as
much in detail as possible the reality of the spiritual world I have
experienced, and hope that this can benefit the life of those believers who
remember and long for me.
One day I sensed the approaching end of my
life in the physical body and the beginning of my life as a spirit. At that
time, I did not recognize my physical death, but felt a mysterious spiritual
phenomenon arising in my body. With heartfelt joy, I was led by two or three
women guides to join a line of many people and stand there quietly. My guides
were wearing light blue clothes, whose brilliance dazzled my eyes. After
telling me to quietly wait in the line, they went away. The line was not
connected in one direction, however, and while following it, I could not see
at all where the people in front were going.
There were also many people standing
behind me, and most of them were quiet and warm. Their clothes were very
natural and not colorful. Although I could not see where the people in front
were going, they dwindled in number and my turn was approaching.
Mysteriously, even without guides, those in front were quickly entering some
place. Finally, it was my turn. While I was hesitating where to go, I
suddenly felt myself being pulled up in one sweep of wind.
Then I came to settle down in one place; I
arrived there without the help of any guide. I could see many people there:
people in a large conference, people engaged in a worship service, people
studying in a place like a school, children and adults getting together and
walking around here and there, and so forth. I wanted to know where on earth
this place was, but was unable to discover clearly where I was. Nor did I
know where to proceed. Walking around and looking here and there, I asked a
woman where that place was, and she looked at me and said that I did not have
to know yet, after which she went away. Not knowing where to stay, I could
not but keep wondering around the area. I did not know how many days I spent
there this way.
One day, however, something strange
happened; some unknown light emerged, wrapped me and held me up, and flew up
in the air towards some place. At some point I fell from the air as if
parachuting down, at which time a mysterious joy and peace sprang up in my
heart and I started to look for God, shouting "God." Then, finally,
I could hear God's voice saying, "Stay here from today on."
From that time on, mysterious things
started happening to me. When I had a question, the answer promptly emerged
in my mind, and when I thought of something in my mind, it immediately
appeared in front of my eyes. Moreover, when I thought about going to some
place, my body was already moving according to that thought. This finally
made me realize that this was not life on earth.
At that time, the situations of the
invisible world I saw were still almost the same as my experiences on earth
had been, and thus I could not distinguish between my life with a body and my
life as a spirit. So I had to ask others about it. I came to see that those
around me were without a body.
After a while - I don't know how much time
passed - I prepared a fixed place just like the one I had had on earth where
I could pray to God.
In this place, I prayed to God, asking,
'What am I to do here, and how am I to live?" Then, all of a sudden,
bright light appeared from all directions, and it was as if electric lights
of tens of thousands of volts had been suddenly turned on. In such an
atmosphere, I shortly heard a voice saying, "You are you. So pray so
that you become Me."
After this, the voice was silent. But I
could not understand the meaning of the voice, however hard I thought. So I
prayed to God: "God, what do you mean when you say, 'You are you. So
pray so that you become Me'?" I prayed about this over and over again.
Then, one day, the voice reappeared in bright light, saying, "You are
you, Augustine. Pray to become God. You are just you yourself. Now, become
someone with whom God stays," after which darkness engulfed the place.
My eyes filled with tears before I became aware of it. Tears of repentance
started to flow from the bottom of my heart. I came to realize on my own that
my service to God in the past had originated in my arrogance, and I deeply
repented of this. This repentance was insuppressible. I could not hold back
the surging regrets that I had failed to become one with God because of my
arrogance and selfishness. I started screaming, saying, "God, Please
forgive my errors. Please forgive me.
I did not know how many days of such
repentance passed. I only remember that it took a long time to purify my
heart. God did not appear to me in this period. I resolved to continue to
pray and repent until God came to be with me. I continued to pray and repent
from my very bones, saying to myself, "You are you. You are only
you." Although I had served God all my life, God could not be with me.
April 24, 2000
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