Ye Jin Nim's Blessing Testimony

June 1981

Ye Jin Nim returned briefly to New York in June, after her matching and Blessing. New York area leaders hosted a reception for her at Belvedere, where she gave the following short, tearful testimony.

First of all, I'd like to thank everybody for coming here to congratulate me. It was very special for me too, and I still don't believe I'm married, but I believe it's all for the best. It's a new beginning for me and for our family, and our church. I want to be a good example and also try to make an exemplary family.

As many of you might know, I have such a sharp character, so until I really polished it, I didn't expect to get married. I expected to wait maybe another ten years. But anyway, I hope this way I will improve much more quickly.

But Father, of course, is concerned with future, and especially, the right spouse for me, so from time to time, he used to tease me and ask, "What kind of husband would you like?" But I really wasn't so interested in that.

We True Children have to be a great family, and it would be most wonderful if from the time we were born we would be perfect, a superman or superwoman. But if that were the case, God would not be a fair God. Everyone has to grow through three stages, and overcome a lot of Satan's temptations and attempts to distract and destroy us. And we have to come out as a winner in order to really be God's True Children. But we feel like we did not have a childhood.

Plus, there are always high expectations of us. Members expect and want to see some ideal family with children who are different from the outside kids. But we have to go step by step, and to jump from the creation stage to perfection in one big leap would be contrary to the Principle and outside of the universal law. We try really hard but many times we have been confronted with problems from outside people in schools.

Also, because we are the first children in this fallen world, many people do not know whether to "handle us with care," or how to raise and educate us. That can sometimes become a poison for children.

Furthermore, our parents are always touring and speaking to members and trying to raise the members, and they have very little time with us. And when they do have time it is so short that all we hear is education; so we understand that Father expects us to grow quickly.

When my brothers and sisters are very young, they are very isolated from the world and don't even have True Parents around. I feel it's very difficult for them; people have high expectations of them and they may receive lots of accusations. We push ourselves towards perfection, but when we cannot determine our course of growth, we feel a lot of self-accusation.

I'm in a kind of special situation in the True Family, because I'm the oldest. I felt that when I got matched, I would like a husband who would be like a father and mother to the other children, someone unselfish who could really care for the children and be a good example for them. I told Father, "I don't care about the face or looks, but I really want a husband with a heart which is able to carry heavy responsibility." If I ever prayed concerning my marriage, that was my prayer.

I think I have been really lucky, and I am really grateful for Father and Mother, for giving me such a wonderful husband. And I hope he can be a great strength not only for me but for True Parents and also for our family and for the Unification Church.

I promised my husband I wouldn't cry any longer. For 21 years I cried so much, so I told him I wouldn't cry any more. But as I am crying now, I guess I'll just have to make another exception.

But anyway, I'm not standing here trying to make excuses. Try to understand. It is very difficult, and we are trying; but even to stand in this world is already a difficult thing. Don't lose hope in this sense, and we will appreciate your support and many other positive things. Of course we have our five percent responsibility to perfect ourselves, and we are trying very hard.

I think I understand my younger brothers and sisters' situations, because I have been through what they are going through, and maybe more. I want to help them and guide them.

If I weren't Father's child, it would be really difficult to marry somebody younger; what it comes down to is trusting that Father and Mother's judgment is the best. I couldn't have picked out the perfect match for me. I'm really glad that I obeyed Father and Mother's direction, and I feel like I'm a new-born person; I feel happy, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I am living.

Rev. Kwak already explained that this is the second set of three seven-year courses and is a point of new beginning; so for my family, I would like to become an ideal center for the following generations and the younger blessed children who will soon be married. I will try to be a strong and non-shaking center, so that from this time Father's four-position foundation can start to grow and we can truly become True Sons and Daughters to True Parents and Heavenly Father.