Nearly Famous

1976.5.14

I didn't realize it had been so long since I had last written in my journal. Yankee Stadium is only two weeks away, June 1. It is so close now that I can't conceive of what it will be like or mean. I was talking to Captain Yasuda about it the other day. He said externally things probably won't seem so different. To the fallen world it will be just another day. But for those who are ready, it will be the day to receive True Parents. I have been praying to be ready, but only that day will tell.

Mike had his palm read one day and the lady told him something very significant would happen on June 1, and on June 6 he would be doing something different. Of our whole team, Mike is the most peculiar. Externally he complains a lot, gets "Cained out" very easily, but often still gets a good result fundraising.

The other day, however, I drove the team and dropped Michael downtown. As usual he started to complain, saying it wasn't good area, that everybody downtown hates the church, and couldn't I take him to a parking lot in a Mexican area or let him do some residential area. But he says stuff like this every day no matter where he's dropped off, so I didn't pay much attention.

When I came back to pick him up, Mike had no result. He said he had spent three hours in a restaurant because he didn't care and had even thought of hara kiri as an alternative to leaving the family. Captain in the van, sitting shotgun, and I could see he was so hurt by what Mike said. But he spoke strongly, and now Mike is at least back to his old complaining self.

Bruce, the brother we forgot at the McDonald's in Winchester, Virginia, when we left New York back in January, has joined our team. He is from LA and was a real rocker before the family. If he hears "Stairway to Heaven" he freaks. Sometimes we talk about Pink Floyd and their new album, "Wish You Were Here," which really came out last year, and he really likes the song "Have a Cigar," which he heard while fundraising in a record store one day. I like talking to him about rock music because we like most of the same bands, but I try not to do it too much because it spaces him out and then he doesn't get a very good result. He struggles with fundraising enough as it is.

I used to think rock music was satanic and I should never listen to it. But Richard Panzer told me that if we use those things for God's purpose, it's okay. He said if he hears some music he likes, he takes its energy for himself to raise his spirit even higher. I thought that was great, and ever since I have not been afraid to get into it if I hear something I like when I'm out fundraising. But I don't play it on the radio in the van. Nobody has to tell me that wouldn't be appropriate. Encountering it out in the fallen world and claiming it for God is one thing. Deliberately bringing it into a heavenly environment would be a bad condition that Satan could invade.

I have determined that I must become a world leader. Ever since I made this determination my result has been over $170 a day. Basil and I were in Del Norte one day and I made a tourist lady with a camera take our picture. She asked why, and I told her we were famous. So she took it. Maybe someday she'll look at that picture and recognize me. Yesterday I was in Ft. Morgan with Lori and I made $240 in a little over eight hours. While we were riding the bus to get there I was looking out the window, scouting area we could fundraise. Lori said that I would make a good team captain because already I was thinking like one. I was surprised to hear her say that, but it made me feel really good, like I was maturing.

Almost everyday I have been getting large donations. Somebody in a bowling alley in Arvada bought $20 worth of "turtles" -- chocolate-covered caramels with peanuts that sort of look like those little turtles you can buy in Woolworth's. Everybody seems to love turtles. Today the people at the 7-11 who stored some flowers for me in Commerce City bought $15 worth of carnations.

I am sort of planning on going home to Delaware for Gary's graduation on June 5. I want to try to see Leslie and Greg, but I am leaving the final decision up to God. If He doesn't want me to go, I won't. More than ever my life is for God first and for myself not at all. So I don't even want to go home unless it can be for a higher purpose. I feel that God has a great mission for me, so I must use this time well to prepare.