Book Four - True Family
Chapter Seven - The Love of a True Husband and a True Wife
Section 3. An Ideal Conjugal Relationship

A true husband is a person who says, "Since I am born for your sake, I will live for you and die for you." It is the same with a true wife. If such a couple has a family where they are well suited to each other and live for each other's sake, going beyond their own selves, this family will inevitably become an ideal family, a family of happiness, and a family of peace. (77-106 1975.4.1)

No matter how capable and talented a man may be, the motivation of his birth does not lie in himself, because he is born for the sake of a woman. Without women, can men be born? Conversely, even if a woman puts on beautiful cosmetics and boasts of being an actress in America, she is not born for her own sake. Hence, a man should have broad shoulders and a woman should have broad hips so that they can fit together well. Therefore, where are the ideal husband and wife of true love? An ideal husband and wife appear when they serve each other, rather than their own selves, and when such hearts converge into one.

This is an absolute fact. According to the Principle, if we ask where we can find ideal people or happy and good people, we cannot find them in a place where people try to live for their own sake, but in a place where they try to live for the sake of others. The husband should be able to give his life for his wife, and the wife should be able to give her life for her husband. Since such a couple will be connected to the realm of God's love and receive direct protection, they won't fall. (Blessed Family - 880)

When a man loves his wife, he should love her more than any other man in the world loves her. Also, when a woman loves her husband, she should love him more than any other woman in the world loves him. This is the ethics of love to be followed by a husband and wife who have realized a true family. (Blessed Family - 964)

True parents live and die for the sake of their children. This is because love is established there. Likewise, a wife and husband of true love, a happy wife and a happy husband, can appear only when they live for each other's sake and become one in love. This is an ideal married couple. (Blessed Family 880)

A bride and bridegroom should not become one through money, political power, or honor, but through God's original love. (Blessed Family - 80)

In conjugal relationships of the secular world, the wife receives energy from her husband when he makes money. She receives energy when she sees the money that he has made, and he receives energy when he sees her receiving energy. Yet if no more money is coming in, they become anxious and their married relationship may even break down. A true married couple should become one in love centering on God. (Blessed Family - 880)

They should make gradual progress in their love. Through the wife loving her husband and the husband loving his wife, a couple should create a family that loves God. (Blessed Family - 880)

People should love their spouse as God's representative. If they love each other from a humanistic viewpoint, their shortcomings will be revealed and eventually they might even seek a divorce. (Blessed Family - 880)

I have heard that nowadays when brides on Cheju Island receive crop fields at the time of their marriage, they register the fields under their own name, so that they can claim their ownership in case they divorce their husband. This is quite a strange couple, isn't it? These brides distinguish between their own money and their husband's money, and also when they have money in their hand, they claim crisp bills as their own and the wrinkled up bills as the man's... This is not love.

They should open up the money purse and use the money. When one asks, "What happened to the money?" the other says, "I have used it." Whereupon the one responds, "You have put it to a good use. Use more; that's good." This is how it should be. But if you say in anger, with quivering lips, "Oh no, you have spent more money!" then you are in error. You will he happy when you are able to give without limit, and able to give and take at any time as you please, whether in a deep place, in a low place, whether by night or by day. Hence, you will be miserable if you are unable to give even if you want to give, and unable to receive even if you want to receive. (Blessed Family - 88)