Book Four - True Family
Chapter Eight - True Parental Love
Section 2. Parents Desire to Be Surpassed by Their Children

If I were to ask those of you who are middle-aged or older, "When you were young and looking for a spouse, did you want to find someone better or worse than you?" you would all give the same answer: "Someone better". No matter whom you ask, in the East or West, you will hear the same response. Similarly, in the relationship between parents and children, parents never want their children to be second-rate. For example, if a good-looking couple marries and has a baby who is nowhere near as good-looking as the parents, the couple still wants to hear praise about the appearance of their child. (77-102, 1975.4.1)

No matter how attractive a woman is, she will still be happy if she hears a passer-by compliment her baby with: "Wow, he's so much better-looking than his mother!" Even though this implies she is much less attractive than her baby, no mother would protest at hearing this and grumble, "What? Is he much more attractive than me? Then does this mean that I am much less attractive?" Rather, she would be unable to contain her joy. This is the maternal heart. Whom do you think such a heart resembles? Mothers are resultant beings, not causal ones.

Any family where the son achieves less than his father will decline. If the father is the president of his country but his son's accomplishments fall short of his, and if this pattern were to continue for some generations, that family will gradually decline and ultimately be driven to a miserable state. Therefore, if a son asks his father, "shouldn't I do better than you?" would the father reply "How dare you say that!" or "Of course, go ahead!"? Of course, he would say the latter. (41-211, 1971.2.17)

When determining who to entrust with responsibility for the family, no parents would want to choose those inferior to them. Why is this so? It is because parents always hope their children will outshine them. The same is true with respect to the nation. The rulers of a nation should wish for their successors to be greater than they are. Whether in the family or in the nation, the desire should always be for successors who are superior to them in every regard. This is something that is desired eternally, and that transcends the fortunes of history. (Blessed Family - 1002)

If true parental love is to perpetuate forever, someone must inherit its tradition. Since our children are clearly our successors, we must educate them to become the heirs of this tradition and enhance it onto higher levels. While each generation should recognize the importance of the existing tradition, they should not just inherit it, but also develop it for the future.

Such a tradition can only start in true families with parents who are constantly burning with hope that their children will surpass them. Such parents will consistently encourage their children to succeed. Parents who long for the day when their children surpass them will devote their utmost efforts to prepare the best possible environment for them. Such parents will sacrifice everything for the sake of their children's happiness, and push them in the direction that will make the children better than their parents. (Blessed Family - 1002)

Parents are happy when their children outshine them. Thus, women who beat children who do not do as well will not have the dignity to enter heaven. You should be able to love your sons and daughters more than your own mother and father loved you. Moreover, when your children also think like this, a world of love will emerge naturally, and the Kingdom of Heaven will be realized. (97-310, 1978.3.26)